Ten things I believe in

1.  I believe in LOVE. Not that cheesy "I'm so in love with him" kind of love. Love in its basic, raw form.  Love is complicated and simple at the same time.  It's not all flowers and hearts. Love can be scary and hurtful. Love can change your life. Love fills our world with color.  To be loved and to love others is essential to our survival.  Think about what you love, hopefully you love yourself, you love places, smells, foods, activities, music, the arts. We love to love! It is fulfilling and comforting, it promotes growth.

2.  I believe in SISTERHOOD. Those women who feel that their man is all they need, are truly missing out. I love my husband fiercely and feel more complete with him by my side, but I would still not be complete without sisterhood. There is the irreplaceable unspoken (and spoken) understanding of being a woman, of feeling, and knowing.  We understand one another (with the exception of those crazy bitches scattered about), we love one another, and we help one another.  There is a support from one woman to another that is undeniably a natural treasure. I can't stress enough, that if you only rely on the man in your life for friendship and support, you ARE missing out, and I hope you experience true sisterhood in your years on earth.

3.  I believe in INSTINCT. It has never steered me wrong. My only regret with instinct is not trusting it. Even if the outcome doesn't match up exactly, there is a rhyme and reason to be had. Trust the gut people!

4.  I believe in MUSIC. Music sets the tone for my whole day. It used to be that getting the kids ready for school and out the door was a frantic and negative ordeal. I started listening to music while I had my coffee in the early hours while I was still alone. I made a point to have music playing when they came downstairs to eat. Then the music continues in the car ride to school. I no longer am bothered by the idiot drivers (to a point). We have a happy drive to school. We sing, dance, and laugh. It's a much better start to the day than arguing, yelling, and crying. Music feeds the soul.

5.  I believe in LIMITS AND BOUNDARIES. There came a point when I realized my limits and boundaries were not clear, because I had not made them that way.  I personally had limits and boundaries and usually felt pretty under control, it was the limits and boundaries set for others I was no good at.  The nice girl syndrome is a bitch! I came to realize it was my own fault that I felt taken advantage of, or felt pressured into things.  All I had to do was set limits and boundaries!  I needed to say no when I felt like saying no, and then quit worrying about it all together.  I needed to let people know when they have crossed a line or that I was at my limit, seemed scary, but was pretty simplistic once you just do it.  The biggest part of limits and boundaries for me was ditching the feelings of obligation.  I am not obligated to do a damn thing!  OK, the main stuff, take care of my children and myself, be a decent human being, and so on, but I am not obligated to anything or anyone.  I had to tell myself this, repeatedly. 

6. I believe in FORGIVENESS.  Now, I'm not saying to forgive every selfish asshole you does you wrong, there are limits and boundaries (see #5), but forgiveness is cleansing.  One thing is for sure, during your time as an earth walker, you are going to get hurt, angry, betrayed, scammed, and scarred.  Who can hold on to all of that and enjoy the beauty of everything else?  You got to let go man!  Sometimes, people deserve more than one chance, but not a lifetime of them.  Evaluate.  In the scale of life, was this a big thing?  Was this something you could never overlook?  Was this something that changed your relationship with this person into one that doesn't need to go on? Sometimes that answer should be yes, but many times, it's a no.  It's a balancing act that is hard to pull off, being forgiving without being a doormat, but it's worth the effort.  When you can forgive the small stuff, your dropping baggage off of your shoulders.  Doesn't that feel lighter?  Life can be heavy enough without unnecessary luggage to tote around.  I do not ever feel obligated to forget (and I won't), but I do try to forgive whenever I can.

7.  I believe in QUIET.  There is nothing more relaxing than some good old fashioned quiet.  I know there are some of you who dislike being alone.  I get that.  You are people persons who get bored in the quiet, you would rather share the quiet with someone else, I get it, I really do. I'm telling you though, try it!  Things happen to you in the quiet (maybe that is what you are scared of, or you just get incredibly bored). You are left alone with your thoughts.  Your thoughts turn into just....YOU.  It is relaxing, it is personal, and it is enlightening.  Try it!  Embrace it! It's So good for you!

8.  I believe in WORDS.  Not everyone is a fan of writing or reading, but everyone loves some good words.  All those little posts shared on social media with clever sayings, funny sayings, thoughtful quotes, we love them! We share them and we want people to know that we love them.  Words, written or spoken evoke emotion.  I can think of several times, someone saying words to me that came as a great comfort.  I can think of many things I've read that came as a better understanding.  I've read things that made me laugh, smile, cry.  Words also have the power to bring you down. Words can break  your heart.  Words could cause you to ask for forgiveness!  Words can help set limits and boundaries! Words create music, words are exchanged in sisterhood and love.  Words are thought about in the quiet!  Words can come without sound.  A look on a face suggests words.  An embrace is full of words. Words are everything.

9.  I believe in CHANGE.  Change is always change, but it is never the same.  You can count on change, it will always be there.  You can predict change and you can be surprised by change.  It is a constant evolution, but it is steadily knocking on your door.  I welcome change whenever possible.  Change does not always mean easy or happy.  Change can come with struggle and resistance, but it is part of what makes up everything we know.  The universe changes, the earth changes, the weather changes, trends change, money changes, people change, our way of life changes, relationships change, seasons change, feelings change, we change ourselves.  It's good shit! Change shit up, you may like it.

10.  I believe in MYSELF.  With out it coming from ego or pride, I fully believe in myself.  Who better to believe in than yourself?  I know who I am in the quiet, and I know my limits.  I can forgive when I believe it to be right, and more importantly, I can forgive myself.  I can love things and be loved.  I can love a fierce love. I can be supportive in sisterhood and I can love a fierce love. If I believe in myself I can make things happen. I can set goals and push myself.  I can trust myself.  I can be who I am, always.

What are ten things YOU believe in?
 

Recipe Share - Red Wine Poached Pears, oh my!

First, let me tell you what a refreshing treat these little beauties are. The rich color turns something simple into fancy eye-candy.

I was the "Cupcake Fairy" for the month in our local MOMS Club. The birthday girl was eating healthy and competing in a weight loss competition. So the Pinterest search began for an exciting, healthy dessert to replace the cupcake. I was drawn to this pin : http://www.coffeeandquinoa.com/2012/12/spiced-red-wine-poached-pears/

Aren't they beautiful?!  

I made a few adjustments, as always.  Here is my version.

4 c cold water

Juice from 1 lemon

4 Anjou Pears (just my choice)

1 bottle of light red wine (I went with a $6 Cabernet)

1/2 c sugar

1 cinnamon stick (I actually used ground cinnamon, either will do)

Dash of nutmeg

Juice from 1 orange plus an inch of rind)

1 tsp vanilla extract

1. Put cold water in a large bowl and add the lemon juice, set aside.

2. Carefully peel the pears, leaving the stems intact. Cut the bottoms flat so that they can stand up. Place them in the lemon water to keep from turning brown.

3. Mix all remaining ingredients into a pot over Medium heat. I used a small pot that fit the 4 pears laying on their side.  Don't forget the orange rine! You could add anise, cloves, etc. 

3. Once your sauce is boiling at medium heat, carefully add your pears.  If they are not completely covered, turn them every 5 minutes or so. Simmer with a slightly tilted lid for 25 minutes. Add 5 minutes for pears that weren't very ripe.

Your house is going to smell like a hangover! It was a little much, but worth it!

4. Let the pot cool. Place cooled pot in the fridge (or switch to a container that saves you space). Let them sit for 3 hours to 3 days. I did mine overnight. 

5. Place your lovely looking pear on a beautiful plate of your choice. Heat 1/3 of the liquid to a boil and simmer until syrup-like. (Mine never became syrupy but was still delicious). Drizzle over your pretty pear!

I added a dollop of chocolate fudge. Goat cheese would have nice too.

Voila!!

No more hangover smell at this point, the cinnamon and orange come through and the pear is delicious! 

A nice gift, fancy dessert, or a just because snack. 

Enjoy!&

Recipe Share - Rotisserie Chicken Stock

You know you love those store bought rotisserie chickens. They taste perfectly delicious and you don't have to do a thing. Okay so it's not organic and I don't roast the chicken myself, but I do have some kick ass chicken broth to use in another recipe for tomorrow's dinner and I got to skip a whole step!

This was an eye-ball recipe. I didn't measure anything, just dumped it all in to see what it would create.

I started by getting all the meat off of the rotisserie chicken that I could. We had it for dinner with some white cheddar pasta and veggies.  

I put the rest of the chicken (bones, skin, everything!) in a large pot, the taller the better. 

I cut up 4 carrots, 4 celery stalks, and a half an onion into med/large chunks.

I filled the chicken and veggie filled pot with water about 2 inches from the top. 

Heat on HIGH to get it boiling.  I added herbs that I had on hand. Three Bay Leaves, Basil, Oregano, 20-25 peppercorns, Garlic Powder, and Ground Turmeric. The turmeric gives it a nice color, a peppery taste, and offers several health benefits. Read about that here ➡️ http://www.healthyandnaturalworld.com/the-amazing-health-benefits-of-turmeric/

I would say about a teaspoon of each, but more like 2 teaspoons of salt. 

Once it was rolling I lowered it to about med-high. I have a lid on, but tilted to let some steam out.

It boiled for about an hour, maybe more. I taste tested it along the way until it had a full flavor.

Time to strain! 

I poured it through a strainer and discarded everything other than liquid.

I ended up with 10 cups of broth!!!

Yes, that is an old baby burp cloth. I use those and my old receiving blankets for extra kitchen towels. They work great!

It really is not thick, it just has a rich color from the turmeric.

I plan to use some in a white bean stew tomorrow and then freeze the rest.

It's much tastier than canned or boxed broth and I'm looking forward to using it!

Thanks for reading!

Biscuits and Gravy - Freezer Style

We all have that one meal that the whole family loves. For us it's Biscuits and Gravy. It goes back a few generations on my dad's side of the family in Missouri. I started making gravy a few years back and the kids LOVE it. There is something about steamy biscuits smothered in creamy, peppery gravy that make your worries disappear. Its like a big hug. It's the ultimate comfort food (besides potatoes of course).

I usually use the convenient biscuits we all know and love in the tube. I've been wanting to get those out of our lives as I'm trying to stick to as much whole foods as I can, but who wants to make biscuits AND gravy from scratch at the same time! It just sounds like a lot of work!

I found a recipe on Pinterest  http://www.favoritefreezerfoods.com/homemade-biscuits.html to make biscuits to freeze and tweaked it slightly for what ingredients I had on hand. So today I made 3 batches of biscuits, (which was way easier than I thought) that can go from freezer to oven!

I also froze some of the gravy in tiny cups so the kids can have a quick biscuit and gravy breakfast for school days.

I've made pancakes and French toast sticks to freeze before too. Super convenient without the processed garbage and artificial flavors.

Here is how I made the biscuits...

2 c flour

1 Tablespoon Baking Powder

12 teaspoon salt

1 stick (1/2 cup) softened butter

3/4 c milk

Mix dry ingredients together.

Add butter and mix together using a fork.  It will become crumbly, keep smashing and mixing until it is fully incorporated into the dry mixture.

Add milk and stir until you have a nice ball of dough.

On a lightly floured surface, kneed ball a few times and roll out with a rolling pin. 

Mine was a less than a 1/2 inch thick.

Cut your circles out (I used a jar lid).

Place your biscuits on parchment paper on a cookie sheet, not touching each other. Place in freezer for at least an hour so that they freeze individually.

Once they feel solid, move them to a freezer bag.

Don't forget to wrote the date!  They are good for 6 months. Also wrote a reminder:  Thawed- bake at 450 for 8-10 minutes. Frozen- bake at 450 for 12-15 minutes.

Easy peasy!

On to the gravy baby!!!

I've made it a few ways, today I used turkey sausage. I usually use regular breakfast sausage, and ocassionally I had used half sausage and half ground beef for a more dinner-ish taste. It's a very simplistic gravy recipe.

I don't use measurements for the gravy so bear with me.

1 pound ground sausage

2-3 heaping spoons of flour

Milk (maybe half a gallon)

Black pepper

Salt

Red pepper 

Brown sausage in a large pot over med-high heat, breaking into small pieces, do NOT drain!

Add 2-3 large spoonfuls of flour, stirring to allow the flour to absorb the grease. Feel free to add more flour until absorbed.

Add milk. This is where your preference comes into play. The less milk, the more meaty it will seem, the more milk, the more creamier and the more gravy it makes. I use LOTS of black pepper, a dash of salt, and an even smaller dash of red pepper.

Heat to a boil, stirring often to prevent milk from burning onto the bottom of the pan. 

It will start to thicken as it heats. Too thick? Add more milk. Too thin? Add more flour.

I like to double the recipe, and set half of it aside to cool. Then I pour into a freezer gallon bag and lay flat to freeze. 

That's it!

Enjoy!

Recipe Share - Peanut Butter Banana Bread

Last week I made a healthy version of banana bread and added mini chocolate chips. Tonight I found that I was out of chocolate chips and low on honey, so the recipe had to be switched up a bit. The end result is delicious, which leaves me thankful I doubled it up! Here is the single recipe below with healthy substitutes if you're being really good this year ;-)

3-4 Ripe Bananas

1/4 c Sunflower Oil (or sub with 1/4 c applesauce)

3/4 cup sugar (can sub 1/4 c honey)

2 eggs

1 drizzle of Vanilla Extract

1/4 t Baking Soda

1 1/2 t Baking Powder

1 1/2 c Whole Wheat Flour

1/2 package of peanut butter chips

1. Grease loaf pan (I actually used a round silicone dish and a loaf pan) and pre heat oven to 350 degrees. 

2. In a large mixing bowl, mash bananas with a large fork. Add vanilla, eggs, sugar,  and oil and wisk until mixed but lumpy.

3. Add baking powder, baking soda, and whole wheat flour and mix well.

4. Fold in the peanut butter chips.

5. Pour into greased loaf pan and bake at 350 for 50-55 minutes.

I love walnuts but was all out. It turned out so yummy! 

Enjoy!

Negative Nancy

I almost always avoid sharing the negative as I consider myself a positive person. Let's face it though, negative stuff goes on, feelings, situations, it's all a part of the real deal.  I loathe pitty. I just want someone to read what I have shared and be able to relate to it in some form.

It has always been acceptable to share the LML moments. "I love my life, look at the great time we had this weekend", "Look at this cute shit I'm doing with my kids", "Look at my organic food, only the best for my family". It is all perfectly OK, and I've done all of the above, but I feel like I just can't see anymore. I need a break from all of the seeing. Not that I don't enjoy seeing some of them, but I just see too much. I get the strong desire to get off the grid, why is that so hard? It feels like some huge decision, and that in itself is kind of funny.

I am at my limit. I was sure I had been here before, but I was wrong. I am here now and I can handle no more. I guess I probably could but, I will become increasingly unpleasant.

I am making a conscious effort in being aware and in the now and right now I feel fragile and on the verge of breaking. This doesn't mean that I don't smile or that I'm not making enjoyable memories with family and friends. It means that I'm not feeling put together, I'm feeling a little broken.  I do believe we have to feel our feelings to get through them so bring it on.

I need to care for myself. I need time alone and I need to do small things for myself. I need some quiet.

I don't sleep well. I'm not eating well. I'm not being productive (productivity makes me thrive) and I can't catch up. All the muscles in my face get so tight and my jaw is clenched and I can't seem to relax. 

I'm back to yelling too much, eating too much, and I'm tired and sore.

I can't catch up on sleep, can't catch up the housework, can't catch up the bills, so what is it that I'm doing? Eating, yelling and stressing.  

This hip surgery has landed me in a ditch. I would climb on out but my hip is broken! There are positives to the surgery too, but it has simply been rough.

After 5 months I can now get around well, but I get so sore! It is wearing and frustrating! I have kids to care for, one of them is an extremely busy, almost 3 year old. I can't just go go go all day like I did before. I can't drive more than 15 minutes without being in severe pain, I can't run after my kid when he decides to book it.  I cannot get a good nights sleep with this metal in my leg. If I move around too much, I wake up in pain. If I lay still for too long, I wake up in tears. I sleep like shit and it's showing.

I'm glad the holidays are over! I don't care for the build up and the pressure to spend money and do all these holiday "things", and "be here" and "do this". No thanks! I enjoy doing the little things for my kids, like decorating the tree, looking at lights, and Christmas breakfast. Other than that I have grown tired of accommodating what anybody else wants. Bah humbug.

School starts again Monday. Three weeks of break, being mostly stuck at home was a little much. Some normal routine should do us all some good. I love them to tiny pieces, but they are driving me nuts. Yes, I can say that BECAUSE I love them so much.

So yay to school, yay to a holiday end, and yay to change. 

Finding Balance

Finding balance in our busy lives seems to be something we have all strived for or at least thought about at one time or another. Family, work, hobbies, friends, spirituality, down time, fitness, and many more. How do we allocate enough time to each to feel balanced and whole? That constant feeling that there are not enough hours in the day. The regret of not being productive enough by the time you lay down to sleep. The wheels spin and you are already thinking about what you should do tomorrow when tomorrow hasn't quite come yet. 

It is stressful feeling unbalanced! Something else I have learned, is that it is even more stressful to stress about balance! It's like an oxymoron. It's as if actively working at balance causes you to lose your balance and fall. You are pulling yourself in so many directions that there is no time to relax. And with no relaxation, there is no balance!

I think we try too hard. The hustle for balance throws everything off! We try so hard to have it, and try to show everyone we have it, that we don't see that we really don't have shit at all.

Just in the past week of not scrolling Facebook everyday has made me feel more balanced. I felt overstimulated in a sense. Reading about and seeing what everyone else was doing and feeling several times a day became exhausting. It was too much unnecessary information. I found that without it, I just did what I did and felt what I felt, peacefully, and I still am. 

You have your vacations to relax and get away. You have your stay-cations to relax and "stay" away. Then there is the Facebook-cation, to relax and get back to YOU.

I don't think we can ever stay fully balanced for long. It has to be an ever changing process. You have to be open, as life is constantly changing. I can say that the most balanced I have felt is recently. It has been the warm sun on my skin after feeling lost in a cold fog.

What changed? What brought the sun out? I quit worrying about it. I quit trying so hard, I quit thinking I had to do more. I did what felt right and what I enjoyed. 

I refrained from doing things out of obligatory feelings. I quit attending social events that I didn't absolutely feel like attending. I stayed home and relaxed if that is what felt needed. I stopped thinking that I had to explain myself all the time. I'm learning to just be. Just be. It sounds simple, but I'm realizing more and more that some people don't just be. They "do" and share, and play the part, and stress. 

I like being. It's the most comfortable place I've been in a while. The best part about just being, is not feeling the pressure to please others. I have inadvertently run that role to the ground and I don't ever care to pick it back up. It comes naturally to some of us, so it takes effort. It's all part of the balance though! When pleasing someone also pleases yourself, it feels balanced, so please away! When you are pleasing just to avoid not pleasing, stop it.

It's a work in progress and I'm smack in the middle of it. Be patient with yourself. 

So work and play, rest and workout, socialize and stay home for movie marathons, handle responsibilities and do nothing. Do it all, in your own time and how YOU choose. If you feel rushed and stressed, take something off of your plate, life will go on without so many "things" to do and places to be. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing, just be. It's calm and nurturing and you will like it there, I promise.