What has happened to invitational activity etiquette? Is that a real term or did I just make up something pretty cool?
I'm hoping it is not lost forever, although I have an overcast feeling about it. Etiquette used to be important, as in downright embarrassing if you didn't follow it. Now, I believe in things evolving and changing with the times, but some etiquette is made up of a common decency.
The one that leaves the worst taste in my mouth is the fading RSVP. Do we remember what RSVP stands for? It stand for the French words: "Respondez s'il vous plait", which mean "Please Respond". It's pretty straight forward. Someone is planning an event, big or small and needs to know who will be showing up so that they may plan accordingly. Our changing ways of planning events have even made it easier for people to RSVP. There was a huge wave of e-vites sent via email. All you had to do was mouse click a yes, a no, or a maybe. Done. A lot of us now use a Facebook Event. You click accept, decline, or maybe. You can even leave a comment if you wish to do so.
A few months back I hosted a party using a Facebook Event as means of invitations. I was amazed at how many people simply didn't respond at all. I feel strongly that it is not necessary for someone to explain why they are not attending an event, it is no business of anyone else's. Maybe they are busy, maybe they just aren't in the mood, fine by me, but one click and I would at least know not to expect you. I would know not to include you in the headcount and planning of food, drinks, and seating. I could plan accordingly.
I used to think it was just a pinch of laziness. I was wrong. It's rude. It is simply rude. It literally only takes seconds to briefly think about someone else and how your lack of communication will effect them. This is not a passive-aggressive attempt at calling someone out, this is my personal rant about tiny pieces of selfishness (seen in many people) that add up to disappointment.
For one of my kids I recently decided to go the route of real invitations. She only wanted to invite a few girls from her class. I don't know the parents, so they were passed out at school before the end of the school year. This was about three weeks before said event. Plenty of time to RSVP. I wrote right on the invitation to RSVP by call or text, making it even easier to do so I thought so anyway). It doesn't take long to text whether your child will attend or not. Here we are, the day of the event and I have heard not a thing from not a person. I have no way to contact them (which I shouldn't have to do anyway) and my child is planning on having friends over today for pizza and crafts. How much pizza do I buy? How many girls will be here? I don't have a clue!
When I do not get a response, I assume that is a no. I will not bust my ass in preparing for a party and have my daughter sit and wait to have no one show up with no warning. So today, a sign will go up on the door that the party is cancelled. What if someone does show up? Well, my note on the door will be more notice than they gave me about their attendance to the party. We are going to have a fun mother-daughter day instead. Fortunately, she is super excited at the idea of a day together.
I am more than understanding to the fact that sometimes things slip through the cracks. We all have busy lives. Today I was supposed to somehow fit in a football meeting, a baseball game, a birthday party, a doctor's appoint and housework. The party was planned ahead of time and everything else fell in afterwards. I can't make it to some of these things, so I made a phone call or sent an email. I responded! I thought about the person on the other end for just a moment.
So please, let's keep some etiquette alive! Just a click, or a text, or a quick call, no need to explain yourself. A simple count me in or count me out is all it takes. If you responded yes, and you aren't going to make it after all, let someone know!
OK. End rant.
