It is in my opinion that by around age 30 (give or take a few years), you should have a fairly decent sense of self. What you love. What you are and are not willing to tolerate from others. What means the world to you. What you can live without. The kind of person you see yourself as. The things you would like to change about yourself, or work on. I'm not saying it should be completely figured out by this time, because I also believe that soul searching and learning about yourself is never ending. Humans are way too complex for there to be nothing left to learn about yourself. I personally have learned a ton about myself in just the past 2 years. In life you are also confronted by random things that change you or make you think about how you are going to deal with them.
Earlier in life, I was suffering from being a people pleaser. I say suffering because I hated that about myself. Being too "nice" all the time. I had to recognize this and make a conscious effort to change this. I am still a "nice" person, that's who I am. The difference is, I no longer care if someone thinks I'm a bitch just because I didn't do what they want or I stand up for something I feel strongly about. I have way bigger fish to fry. It was a part of growing up. Especially when I had children. I do not want to set this example to my children. I want them to stand up for what they feel strongly about, regardless of what their friends might say or think. They might catch some heat for it, but sooner or later, they will be respected for it. I still have work to do, but for the most part, I have changed this about myself. I want to eliminate the after feeling of "I should have said...." I hate that feeling.
So if you are a grown woman, and especially a mother, for the love of whatever you love....grow up! If you volunteer to do something, don't complain about it! YOU offered to do it! If you do not want to do something, DON'T DO IT! If you disagree on a topic of discussion, say so, it is okay! At this age, most people do not want to be pleased, they simply want to surround themselves with real people. How can you really get to know someone when they only say what they think you want them to say? It is a waste of time and I am done wasting time. I have learned that there are few people you can really trust, just with simple things even. If you complain or talk negatively about other people, more than you have meaningful conversation, get a life.
I cherish the women in my life that are strong and real. I wish there were more of them. One thing is for sure, I will do everything in my power to raise a strong, independent, full of character, female. I will teach her as best as I can to learn about the person she is and the person she wants to be. I will teach her to love life passionately, to surround herself with real people to share life with. I want her to ooze confidence and stand up for what she believes in, even if it doesn't please everyone around her. I ant her to enjoy time alone and love time with loved ones. I will then cross my fingers and watch her grow!
Raise our girls to be wonderful women. Not catty, complaining, whiners. They will be the women of the world sooner than you realize.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
Dear laundry, let's make ammends
I think this love hate relationship began when we moved to a two story house. The washer and dryer are downstairs, all the bedrooms are upstairs. I don't know if that actually has anything to do with it, but it sounds like a great excuse.
I always have great intentions on keeping the laundry up. I come up with different procedures for laundry. I even got each kid their own different colored laundry bag in hopes this would help.
Keep in mind, there is a lot of laundry in this place. We have two adults and 5 kids. Now, 2 of the kids are not here every day, but one of them seems to dirty lots of clothes somehow. I think what actually happens is he lets clothes fall on the floor, then becoming "dirty" in the dirty pile of clothes. The three year old diva likes to change clothes in the middle of the day, as many times as she can before getting in trouble. The baby is a baby, so he goes through many clothes in a day. Now add baby blankets, towels, and the fact there is a bed wetter in the house to the laundry pile. Twin sheets and comforters take up a lot of room in the washing machine.
I will spend three whole days (sometimes with a days break in between) catching up the laundry. I don't mind loading the washer and dryer and I always fold it immediately upon pulling it out of the dryer. I empty the dryer piece by piece and fold it right there. I then separate them all in to piles, adult pile, Beebs pile, Logan's pile, baby's pile, Austin's pile, and Kristian's pile. This takes up the entire couch. I then move these piles into their color coordinated bags and set them a side. Ours go into hampers ready to put them away. They sit, and they sit, and they get items pulled out of them when needed. Every day I walk downstairs and try to ignore the fact that they are there. By the time I get around to putting them away, I have a huge pile of laundry to do again. Another great excuse I thought I would share with you is that my dogs absolutely LOVE to sleep on a pile of dirty clothes, it makes them happy, you can see their soul smiling. I know, I know.
I yell at the kids when they come downstairs with a new clean outfit on and we have no plans to go anywhere. "Now why would you go dirty those clothes for me when we will be home all day?" I know, I totally take it personal, but the laundry and I have a very personal relationship.
I have come to the fact, for the new year, that I need to catch it all up, put it away the moment it is done, and do at least a load every day. I know this is the right thing to do, but at the same time, I want to rebel, it's in my nature. I will not have anyone controlling me, especially dirty clothes and it's process. Are you kidding me?
So this year, the laundry process and I will shake hands and start working together in a professional manner. I am not going to roll my eyes at it anymore and make rude sounds to accompany the eye roll. The laundry is not going to follow me with its eyes as I walk through the room. We will pretend to be friends.
I'm going to make my own laundry detergent as soon as what I have is used, this might make it more exciting (yeah, for like the first 3 loads).
The real deal here is putting the clothes away. Why do I hate it? I don't mind putting the kid's clothes away, but our clothes, I just never feel like doing that. Sometimes, I take it all upstairs with good intentions. I separate mine and Louie's stuff all across our Cal King bed. It's all organized in categories and ready to put away. Then something happens like the baby wakes up, or Dominique is screaming about something, or someone is at the door, or I have to go to the bathroom, or I decide to make another cup of coffee. If I go downstairs I am ruined. I forget about what is going on on that Cal King. Then it gets late, Louie and go upstairs to go to bed. The bed is covered in clothes, in a very organized fashion mind you, but still! So, I nicely set them all back into the hampers and crawl into bed. You can see how this process repeats itself so easily. And my other gripe of an excuse. Is my room and entire upstairs is not baby proof. So I can't really be doing all this putting away stuff while Andrew is awake. He is too big for his chair, so he ends up tipping it over and just screams at me the whole time anyway. He has to be napping, so that needs to be added to my new technique...putting laundry away at nap time.
Thanks for listening, and please, please wish me laundry luck for the new year...this really puts a damper on my life. I hate piles and I hate hampers full of clean laundry.
So, my coffee is ready for me in the coffee pot, I will enjoy that cup and I will then put a load in the wash. I will then give it a little wink, just to be sassy.
I always have great intentions on keeping the laundry up. I come up with different procedures for laundry. I even got each kid their own different colored laundry bag in hopes this would help.
Keep in mind, there is a lot of laundry in this place. We have two adults and 5 kids. Now, 2 of the kids are not here every day, but one of them seems to dirty lots of clothes somehow. I think what actually happens is he lets clothes fall on the floor, then becoming "dirty" in the dirty pile of clothes. The three year old diva likes to change clothes in the middle of the day, as many times as she can before getting in trouble. The baby is a baby, so he goes through many clothes in a day. Now add baby blankets, towels, and the fact there is a bed wetter in the house to the laundry pile. Twin sheets and comforters take up a lot of room in the washing machine.
I will spend three whole days (sometimes with a days break in between) catching up the laundry. I don't mind loading the washer and dryer and I always fold it immediately upon pulling it out of the dryer. I empty the dryer piece by piece and fold it right there. I then separate them all in to piles, adult pile, Beebs pile, Logan's pile, baby's pile, Austin's pile, and Kristian's pile. This takes up the entire couch. I then move these piles into their color coordinated bags and set them a side. Ours go into hampers ready to put them away. They sit, and they sit, and they get items pulled out of them when needed. Every day I walk downstairs and try to ignore the fact that they are there. By the time I get around to putting them away, I have a huge pile of laundry to do again. Another great excuse I thought I would share with you is that my dogs absolutely LOVE to sleep on a pile of dirty clothes, it makes them happy, you can see their soul smiling. I know, I know.
I yell at the kids when they come downstairs with a new clean outfit on and we have no plans to go anywhere. "Now why would you go dirty those clothes for me when we will be home all day?" I know, I totally take it personal, but the laundry and I have a very personal relationship.
I have come to the fact, for the new year, that I need to catch it all up, put it away the moment it is done, and do at least a load every day. I know this is the right thing to do, but at the same time, I want to rebel, it's in my nature. I will not have anyone controlling me, especially dirty clothes and it's process. Are you kidding me?
So this year, the laundry process and I will shake hands and start working together in a professional manner. I am not going to roll my eyes at it anymore and make rude sounds to accompany the eye roll. The laundry is not going to follow me with its eyes as I walk through the room. We will pretend to be friends.
I'm going to make my own laundry detergent as soon as what I have is used, this might make it more exciting (yeah, for like the first 3 loads).
The real deal here is putting the clothes away. Why do I hate it? I don't mind putting the kid's clothes away, but our clothes, I just never feel like doing that. Sometimes, I take it all upstairs with good intentions. I separate mine and Louie's stuff all across our Cal King bed. It's all organized in categories and ready to put away. Then something happens like the baby wakes up, or Dominique is screaming about something, or someone is at the door, or I have to go to the bathroom, or I decide to make another cup of coffee. If I go downstairs I am ruined. I forget about what is going on on that Cal King. Then it gets late, Louie and go upstairs to go to bed. The bed is covered in clothes, in a very organized fashion mind you, but still! So, I nicely set them all back into the hampers and crawl into bed. You can see how this process repeats itself so easily. And my other gripe of an excuse. Is my room and entire upstairs is not baby proof. So I can't really be doing all this putting away stuff while Andrew is awake. He is too big for his chair, so he ends up tipping it over and just screams at me the whole time anyway. He has to be napping, so that needs to be added to my new technique...putting laundry away at nap time.
Thanks for listening, and please, please wish me laundry luck for the new year...this really puts a damper on my life. I hate piles and I hate hampers full of clean laundry.
So, my coffee is ready for me in the coffee pot, I will enjoy that cup and I will then put a load in the wash. I will then give it a little wink, just to be sassy.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Roll of the Eye
The last part of 2011 I have been working on a stress decreaser. It is eye rolling.
I am pretty much a veteren at rolling my eyes. I assume I've been doing it since I was in the womb. I have many family members who roll their eyes several times a day, so it comes with my genes.
Instead of getting really frustrated with people, or letting others offend me, I'm just going to work on rolling my eyes. I think I am comfortable with myself enough to where I don't really care if they see me do it anymore. It is my right to roll my eyes, correct? If they don't like it, they are more than welcome to roll their eyes in return, I have no problem with this. It's much friendlier than flipping the bird.
There are great sounds that you can make to assist your eye roll. Like "tssss" or "psshh". There are some good assisting words as well, "Gawd", "stuuupid", or just a good old sigh. Go ahead, try it out loud, I think you will enjoy it and find what suits you best.
My children also roll their eyes. Never in a disrespecting way (a true eye roller knows how to do this, I'm so proud of them).
Eye rolling can be done in private as well, as you walk away. This is great for when it might be inappropriate to be upfront about it.
There is also those times when you look across the room to a fellow eye roller when someone else says something rediculous. You sometimes get the need to share in eye rolling together about something. The need to share is so strong, that you forget there are other people in the room watching you...this falls under inappropriate eye rolling, try to keep a handle on this. Now a days you can most likely text your friend, then just smile at her when she reads it.
My husband is more of a "lips pressed tight" sort of guy. He has gotten caught up in my eye rolling a few times and tried it on for size, but he mainly sticks to pinching his lips real tight, it makes him look pretty pissed. It works for him.
I do wonder though, if this is why I get headaches so frequently, maybe a strain of the eye.
Thanks for sharing in my eye rolling thoughts. Have a great night!
I am pretty much a veteren at rolling my eyes. I assume I've been doing it since I was in the womb. I have many family members who roll their eyes several times a day, so it comes with my genes.
Instead of getting really frustrated with people, or letting others offend me, I'm just going to work on rolling my eyes. I think I am comfortable with myself enough to where I don't really care if they see me do it anymore. It is my right to roll my eyes, correct? If they don't like it, they are more than welcome to roll their eyes in return, I have no problem with this. It's much friendlier than flipping the bird.
There are great sounds that you can make to assist your eye roll. Like "tssss" or "psshh". There are some good assisting words as well, "Gawd", "stuuupid", or just a good old sigh. Go ahead, try it out loud, I think you will enjoy it and find what suits you best.
My children also roll their eyes. Never in a disrespecting way (a true eye roller knows how to do this, I'm so proud of them).
Eye rolling can be done in private as well, as you walk away. This is great for when it might be inappropriate to be upfront about it.
There is also those times when you look across the room to a fellow eye roller when someone else says something rediculous. You sometimes get the need to share in eye rolling together about something. The need to share is so strong, that you forget there are other people in the room watching you...this falls under inappropriate eye rolling, try to keep a handle on this. Now a days you can most likely text your friend, then just smile at her when she reads it.
My husband is more of a "lips pressed tight" sort of guy. He has gotten caught up in my eye rolling a few times and tried it on for size, but he mainly sticks to pinching his lips real tight, it makes him look pretty pissed. It works for him.
I do wonder though, if this is why I get headaches so frequently, maybe a strain of the eye.
Thanks for sharing in my eye rolling thoughts. Have a great night!
Tree Hugger vs MotoMom
I'm feeling a bit torn here. I have always thought of myself as being a little hippy. Maybe a bit more than a little, but not a full fledged hippie. I have very liberal feelings about the humanity and the world, I respect our planet, I love natural things, I dream of eating only raw foods, I try to be "green", I believe in happiness, yada yada.
I am now the owner of a dirt bike. The dirty smoke blowing 2-stroke kind. She is a beautiful bike, she intimidates me a bit, but we are getting to know each other. My husband and kids all have bikes too. It has become a great family sport. We all go together and have a great time. Everyone there is helpful and you see a ton of family's spending time together.
So I'm at carnegie and I"m talking to fellow riders. They are informing me about the "tree huggers" that are trying to close carnegie down. I was initially I bit offended, as if I had just heard a racial slur, like I little slap on the face. Not hard enough to leave a red mark, just a simple sissy slap, but still. My husband of course cracks up, becomes he knows I'm this strange breed of motocross-tree hugger. I think he actually digs it quite a bit. Anyway, they are telling me why this large portion of the park is now off limits. The "tree huggers" sued, saying the bikes were contaminating the creek. I get it, I do....but there is no water most of the time in the creek....I don't know, I just became very torn, so I went back to have a sit on the trailer to eat my organic whole wheat tortillas filled with veggies and beans to think about it.
I don't have to choose, I can be both I suppose. Motocross is a great family sport. The kids absolutely love it. This will keep them (in my opinion) involved in something for years to come. It is something to say no to drugs and alcohol for. It is something to keep working at to get better and better. It can be competative if you want it to be, or just plain fun.
As I took my new bike for a spin I enjoyed how relaxing it felt (even with the loud bike in second gear blowing smoke all around) The wind was going right through me, the hills were around me, it was just me and the bike. Peaceful and theraputic.
So, I am both. I am a tree hugging motocross mom. I make granola bars from scratch and shred down the road.
I am now the owner of a dirt bike. The dirty smoke blowing 2-stroke kind. She is a beautiful bike, she intimidates me a bit, but we are getting to know each other. My husband and kids all have bikes too. It has become a great family sport. We all go together and have a great time. Everyone there is helpful and you see a ton of family's spending time together.
So I'm at carnegie and I"m talking to fellow riders. They are informing me about the "tree huggers" that are trying to close carnegie down. I was initially I bit offended, as if I had just heard a racial slur, like I little slap on the face. Not hard enough to leave a red mark, just a simple sissy slap, but still. My husband of course cracks up, becomes he knows I'm this strange breed of motocross-tree hugger. I think he actually digs it quite a bit. Anyway, they are telling me why this large portion of the park is now off limits. The "tree huggers" sued, saying the bikes were contaminating the creek. I get it, I do....but there is no water most of the time in the creek....I don't know, I just became very torn, so I went back to have a sit on the trailer to eat my organic whole wheat tortillas filled with veggies and beans to think about it.
I don't have to choose, I can be both I suppose. Motocross is a great family sport. The kids absolutely love it. This will keep them (in my opinion) involved in something for years to come. It is something to say no to drugs and alcohol for. It is something to keep working at to get better and better. It can be competative if you want it to be, or just plain fun.
As I took my new bike for a spin I enjoyed how relaxing it felt (even with the loud bike in second gear blowing smoke all around) The wind was going right through me, the hills were around me, it was just me and the bike. Peaceful and theraputic.
So, I am both. I am a tree hugging motocross mom. I make granola bars from scratch and shred down the road.
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