It is in my opinion that by around age 30 (give or take a few years), you should have a fairly decent sense of self. What you love. What you are and are not willing to tolerate from others. What means the world to you. What you can live without. The kind of person you see yourself as. The things you would like to change about yourself, or work on. I'm not saying it should be completely figured out by this time, because I also believe that soul searching and learning about yourself is never ending. Humans are way too complex for there to be nothing left to learn about yourself. I personally have learned a ton about myself in just the past 2 years. In life you are also confronted by random things that change you or make you think about how you are going to deal with them.
Earlier in life, I was suffering from being a people pleaser. I say suffering because I hated that about myself. Being too "nice" all the time. I had to recognize this and make a conscious effort to change this. I am still a "nice" person, that's who I am. The difference is, I no longer care if someone thinks I'm a bitch just because I didn't do what they want or I stand up for something I feel strongly about. I have way bigger fish to fry. It was a part of growing up. Especially when I had children. I do not want to set this example to my children. I want them to stand up for what they feel strongly about, regardless of what their friends might say or think. They might catch some heat for it, but sooner or later, they will be respected for it. I still have work to do, but for the most part, I have changed this about myself. I want to eliminate the after feeling of "I should have said...." I hate that feeling.
So if you are a grown woman, and especially a mother, for the love of whatever you love....grow up! If you volunteer to do something, don't complain about it! YOU offered to do it! If you do not want to do something, DON'T DO IT! If you disagree on a topic of discussion, say so, it is okay! At this age, most people do not want to be pleased, they simply want to surround themselves with real people. How can you really get to know someone when they only say what they think you want them to say? It is a waste of time and I am done wasting time. I have learned that there are few people you can really trust, just with simple things even. If you complain or talk negatively about other people, more than you have meaningful conversation, get a life.
I cherish the women in my life that are strong and real. I wish there were more of them. One thing is for sure, I will do everything in my power to raise a strong, independent, full of character, female. I will teach her as best as I can to learn about the person she is and the person she wants to be. I will teach her to love life passionately, to surround herself with real people to share life with. I want her to ooze confidence and stand up for what she believes in, even if it doesn't please everyone around her. I ant her to enjoy time alone and love time with loved ones. I will then cross my fingers and watch her grow!
Raise our girls to be wonderful women. Not catty, complaining, whiners. They will be the women of the world sooner than you realize.
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