THE MISCONCEPTION AND IMPORTANCE OF SELF LOVE

Photo by Cathal Mac an Bheatha on Unsplash

Self-love is a regular term in our home and something I am extremely passionate about. Personally, it is at the top of my list when it comes to parenting, and life in general. My biggest wish is self love for all, it brings peace, community, and independence all at the same time. I struggled with self love until later years, so I try to have it floating all over my children's world for them to become familiar with. I stress the importance of self love and how it requires an ongoing effort through out life. I feel like it is the most important gift I can give them. It's an umbrella to house all the other good stuff like self respect, respect for others, empathy, sensitivity, confidence, integrity, and so much more. We talk about knowing yourself and loving yourself. Knowing what you want and what you do not. We talk about how things are constantly changing. The weather changes, the seasons change, the world changes, and we change as individuals. It is important to keep track of who you are and who you are becoming and what parts of you have broken away to make room for growth.

I feel strongly that almost everything negative in life  (besides things completely out of our control) can be linked to lack of self love or improved with a deeper self love. Big things like addiction and keeping people in your life who bring negativity. Smaller, but still important things like self doubt and the way we react to stress or choose to create drama instead of resolution. If you put work into loving yourself deeper, you would not be so quick to allow these things for yourself. You wouldn't feel the need for other people to assist in your happiness. You would not be afraid to only do the things you want to do. You would feel happy and whole.

Photo by Mayur Gala on Unsplash

I've been delighted to see that the term self love has made its way into classrooms, books, and social media. What concerns me, is that it is becoming a "thing" where many people are missing the mark. I think self love is often being mistaken for self care. Although self care is important and shows love for yourself it is not the same act as self love. Getting our hair and nails done is not self love. It is surface level self care. You could decide to never get your hair and nails done again and love yourself deeply, finding complete contentment in not doing these things anymore. Self love is loving yourself even without the hair done and make up on. Feeling love about who you are at your core. There is absolutely nothing wrong with some extra self care, I'll be partaking in some next week and enjoying every minute of it, but it is important to understand (especially for our daughters) that self love is internal. It is the voice in your mind and the feeling in your heart.

Weight can be a tricky one as well. It takes self care to keep our bodies in shape and it takes self love to love ourselves even when we are unhappy with our weight. Just that form of self care alone can be so hard to do for some reason. I am currently pushing myself with the motto of "love yourself enough to use more self care with your weight". Time to shed the lingering pounds that have become to comfortable hanging out. I am not happy with the extra weight, but I still love who I am at my core, the self. I can't say it isn't tempting at times to fell negative towards myself about it, but I choose to rise above that and keep loving.

Love yourself enough to stop allowing yourself to be a victim of life. Shitty things happen to all of us. Although I know for a fact that it can feel like certain things are more intense for you than others, that is simply not the case. Death happens and it's devastating, break ups and divorce happen and it's difficult and scary, but we all have the ability to cope in our own ways and move forward, learning to love the new parts of ourselves that these tough situations bring about. Huge changes occur and they take all of our energy and change all of our plans, love yourself enough to embrace it and see where it is leading you. Love yourself enough to let go of things and people that do not serve you. That can initially sound stuck up, but it is not. If there is something or someone in your life that does not serve you with something positive, they are taking up space. Love yourself enough to let them go. Love yourself enough not to react to things that do not deserve your energy and attention. Accepting and becoming fluid with change and choosing not to react when it is the healthier choice brings peace. When you love yourself, you know that you deserve peace. Love yourself enough to stop viewing life as things happening to you. 

We also have the glorification of busy these days. Please, I beg you, love yourself enough to only be as busy as you want to be. We are all busy in some form. Working, running a household, making time for hobbies, volunteer work, raising children (which may come with sports, parties, illnesses and other extracurricular activities), housework, errands, social life, these are all things that keep us busy. If allowing your kid to play soccer, baseball, AND take gymnastics and archery create a busyness that is causing stress, then don't do all those things. It really is that simple. The kids will be OK! They don't have to do everything. Maybe they could use some more down time too. Maybe it will bring them joy not to see mom or dad so stressed. Maybe they need more family movies and popcorn on the couch. If you love being on the go and it energizes you, by all means, do all the things, but if you find yourself complaining or even talking often about how busy you are and you are feeling victim to it, stop doing all the things! Do the things that bring you joy. There are always things to remove from your plate. I think we tend to feel obligated, but we need to stop that. Being busy doesn't make you more important or more valuable, we are literally all busy with something. Sometimes I am busy doing nothing. I am not available simply because I am busy doing nothing. Sometimes there is much more value in taking time do something quiet on your own, or taking time for meditation or binge watching some Netflix for a while. We must remind ourselves that if we feel too busy, we have the power (through self love) to change that.

Lastly, selfies are not self love. A selfie with no make up is not self love. A selfie is still surface level. Self love is internal and can and will present itself in your life when nurtured. A selfie is a selfie. It is a self taken photo of you that you want other people to see. If you're feeling fly, by all means, snap a selfie and post it. If you're digging yourself with no make up and you feel good about that, by all means, post it, but it's not #selflove. Self love is feeling great about being you and not worrying about that urge to show everyone. That's the wrong hashtag for the photo. I think I'd feel better about seeing #selflove on a photo of someone consuming organic vegetables. 

We can all use more self love. It is amazing, when given the effort, how you can watch it seep into all aspects of your life and make things easier. I'm no expert, but I've had and continue to have my own personal journey with self love and it is the key to happiness and growth. In the end that is what matters most. 

All the love (and self love), 

Caffeine and Freckles

Matcha Protein Shake

For me and matcha, it was love at first taste. About 13 years ago I used to commute into work with my friend Donna (I love you Donna!). I have to say that the commute never felt like a "commute" with Donna. It was a beautiful, therapeutic, loving gab session on the way to work and on the way home. Our morning ritual consisted of stopping at a local coffee shop for a hot drink and a smoke before we hit the road. (Yes, I used to smoke) Anyway, back to matcha! I was in love with the Green Tea Latte with soy milk. Slowly but surely I noticed matcha popping up all over the place.

The last few years I've made some green tea lattes at home which is a great treat. I recently had a matcha smoothie at a coffee shop. DELICIOUS!! I never ordered one before because I tend to prefer hot drinks over icy cold. I went home and tried to recreate it, but it pretty much tasted like grass. I added some honey to sweeten it up which worked a little but it was nothing like the heavenly beverage I had at the shop. I froze it into popsicles for the kids. They could get about halfway through them before they got grossed out. 

The next day I went in and asked the lady what they use. It looks like the secret was a white chocolate powder. I was bummed because I get it with soy milk to make it dairy free and with the powder it for sure has dairy in it. I made another batch at home with some white hot chocolate powder. It was a hit, but I really didn't want that dairy, sugar, and other off the wall ingredients in my smoothie!

Ah ha!! I have that big tub of organic vanilla protein powder with greens! I had bought it from Costco and no one in the house liked it. I didn't even like it much but I was determined to find a way to enjoy it.

I love the vanilla protein powder and matcha together. I had about a 20 ounce shake this morning and I am not craving my morning coffee. I'm not saying I'm giving up coffee, I'm just saying lets see what happens. So here is the shake recipe that I'm digging hard core!

Matcha powder

Vanilla protein powder

Organic soy milk

Ice

All organic, all delicious.

Benson sat patiently waiting to see if I could come up with a decent matcha shake. Look at the faith in his face, he's on the edge of his seat! 

I know there are dangers with soy. I typically only have it when I order drinks from a shop, which isn't often. I'm feeling OK about organic and preferably non-gmo soy milk in moderation. I'm sure this smoothie would be just as yummy with a cashew milk or coconut milk.

I used a handful of ice cubes, about 12 oz of vanilla soy milk, a Tbsp of match powder, and not quite a full scoop of protein powder. Blend and enjoy! That's it!

A frothy, green, healthy drink...

You can always add your supplements into the drink as well. I plan on emptying capsules of ashwagandha, pine bark powder, and triphala now that I know I will be enjoying this drink on a regular basis.

This is more of a shake consistency than a smoothie, but adding more ice can create more of a smoothie texture.

I have some moringa powder that needs to be used. I've had a hard time finding ways to consume that as well, I don't mind the flavor, but it tends to take over. Maybe adding just a little to the drink will go well with the matcha. I'll let you know my thoughts.

All the love,

Caffeine and Freckles

More Healthy Meal Prep Ideas

I thought I would share with you some of the healthy lunches I whipped up for the rest of this week. I never regret meal prepping. It ALWAYS comes in handy. Next week I start a new chapter, I will be going back to work part time at the elementary school that my two youngest children attend. I will also have delicious, healthy lunches without a lot of effort :)

I made a cup of quinoa (which goes a long way) that I cooked in vegetable broth with a touch of curry powder. I added zucchini and yellow squash that I had sautéed in olive oil and garlic, plus some peas, cilantro, and a little Parmesan cheese. I might add avocado when it's time to grub. I made two servings of this particular mix.

If you are afraid you will get bored of the same meal over and over, mix it up a little. I used the rest of the quinoa and added chili beans, salsa, cilantro, hot sauce, and Parmesan cheese. Avocado would be a tasty addition to this version as well. I made two servings of this version and STILL had quinoa to spare!

I took the rest of the quinoa and added the left over squash, chili beans, and cilantro, kind of a mix of the two together. I can always have it for dinner one night.

Filling, nutrient-rich, wheat-free, dairy free if you omit the Parmesan, lunches with no on going effort during the week.

You could try adding corn, black beans, pinto beans, mushrooms, water chestnuts, or even dried cranberries.

Let me know if you try it!

All the love,

Caffeine and Freckles

Homemade Almond Mylk - My favorite with Coffee or Matcha

Probably well over a year ago, my bosom buddy, Missy told me about this fabulous and easy way to make almond mylk.  It was only a few simple ingredients blended fresh that become a frothy treat in a glass. She also turned me on to golden milk (turmeric milk) which I may have to share with you as well. It's a powerhouse of wellness.

 Why is it "mylk" and not "milk"? Good question! I'm not so sure, but I know that most of the other recipes I have toyed with are all labeled as mylk, so I followed suit. Here is the way I like to make it, three ingredients, plus water.

When I use it in my coffee, I usually fill the mug with half coffee and half almond mylk, no sugar was needed due to the dates in the mylk. It is more of a beverage than a creamer, but it will replace creamer. Lately I've been enjoying it with matcha as a green tea latte type of drink. It's also super tasty plain. You can use different variations of course, like honey instead of dates to sweeten, or leave out the cinnamon. I'm a huge cinnamon fan, I add it to my coffee grounds in the french press, I added it to golden milk today to help fight off this virus I have going on. That cup of golden goodness was like wellness in a mug. You can also swap out the almond butter for other nut butters. I have used cashew butter before and it was great, usually a little easier on the stomach than almonds tend to be.

Anyway, here is what you will need:

2-3 Medjool Dates
1-2 Tbsp Almond Butter
Cinnamon to taste
Water

I use a Magic Blender, but any type of blender will work. Keep in mind, this recipe is fit to about a 2 cup container for the Magic Bullet.

I like to remove the skin from the dates, only because they tend to not pulverize well in the Magic Bullet, which leaves you with pieces of skin floating around. It's not bad really, but can be annoying. I run the date under warm water while I massage the skin, it comes right off. I pop the seed out and put 3 dates in the blending cup.

Next add a tablespoon or two of almond butter.

I dump in some cinnamon and then fill the cup with water. More recently I have been using warm/hot water from my kettle, seems to blend better, but you can use cold water just the same.

Blend away!

That is all it takes to have a frothy drink that feels like it came from an eclectic coffee shop hand blended by a hot barista man. Seriously, you will find you enjoy things much more when you think of them creatively like this. ;-)

When I add Matcha, I add about a teaspoon and blend it in with the Magic Bullet, as matcha doesn't dissolve well when only stirred.

I made a quart size jar of of, which was two batches in the Magic Bullet. I keep it in the fridge and just warm up what I need in a small pan. This gives me several days of almond mylk to add to coffee and use for matcha lattes and golden milk. It's easy, healthy, and delicious. No refined sugars or syrups and no dairy! It will separate in the fridge, so don't be surprised when it looks like some nasty science project, just give it a little shake and you're all good.

I've always loved almond milk and cashew milk. After using this homemade method though, the store bought nut milks just do not compare.

Let me know if you try it!

All the love,

Caffeine and Freckles.

Float Pod, Round 2!

 Last night I had my second float therapy at Crystal Waters Float Spa. I had been told that the second float is much different than the first, usually better. You already know what to expect and you can turn your mind off more easily since being in the pod isn't so new this time around. This seemed like the perfect week for a float after the extra frustrating experience at a car dealership, having had hip and shoulder pain, and just feeling like I could use all the relaxation I could find and call my own.

I will say first that I should not have drank that latte at 2pm. My appointment wasn't until 6pm, but I sipped on it for over an hour I'm sure and I seem to be more sensitive to caffeine lately. It didn't ruin the experience, but I always hope to doze off in the pod and that just wasn't happening.

This time I chose their new "astral projection" music. The owner (who is just a spectacular guy) offered to play it during the duration of the float instead of only the first five minutes. The music was amazing. If I was still, I could easily imagine myself floating somewhere in the middle of the universe. This time I was going to float for 90 minutes. That is 30 minutes longer than my first float. There was something different about floating at night. It was already dark outside when I arrived. I liked it better that way. Last time, leaving the shop and entering back into the non floating world was more intense. There was daylight, and noise, and cars everywhere. This time it was dark, quiet, and less hussle bussle around town.

So here I go. I got ready for shampoo and soap shower. They don't skimp here, the dispenser is filled with wonderful aromatic soap that feels like silk on your skin. I got my earplugs in and got all cleaned up for pod time. The temperature is color coded. Green is warm, red is much warmer and when red begins to flash, it will probably burn you. Makes it simplistic to get your shower temperature just right, which I appreciate.

It's pod time! The color changing light inside can be turned on and off at any time. I kept it on just for a minute or two and then shut it off. I prefer the darkness. Even having the music on the whole time was almost distracting. Darkness and silence together would be much more sensory deprived, but I thought I would try out the music this time around. I love the shower, but my favorite pre-float task is probably turning my phone to silent. There is a sense of freedom in turning your phone off knowing that no one can interrupt your time. 

During my first float I moved around a lot in the beginning, being more still toward the end. This time I got into the water and was immediately still. The music was perfect and the temperature was comforting. At one point I felt like I was in a giant cupped hand, being suspended in the air. Everything is comfortable, warm, and still. Then my caffeine thoughts came rushing in. I found it challenging this time to turn my mind off. Maybe it was the latte, maybe it was just my busy mind and I felt I had the space to go through all of these thoughts. Despite my racing thoughts I fully enjoyed myself for 90 minutes.

I found myself thinking about my stepdaughter and the current situation we are in with her. I then made the conscious decision to put it out of my mind. It is the prime example of "letting go". Certain things are out of our control and there is not much we can do to change them. Even through hurt, pain, and confusion, we have to find a way to move on. You can still love and you can still hurt and I am huge advocate of feeling your feelings, but your mind needs to take the healthy step to move forward and not become stagnant. 

I thought about my daughter, and how I think she needs more of my time. I thought about all of my children, but not as my children. I thought of them as the individuals that they are and who they might become. I close friend of mine has said in conversation before that our children do not belong to us, they are not ours. They are their own and we are with them right now to guide them. I think about her words often in regard to motherhood, but I always had a hard time releasing that territorial feeling about them. I could see it now though, in these thoughts. I am here to love them and guide them and then let them go. They might stay close to me or they may go far, geographically and emotionally. I felt at that moment I was letting go of expectation. My only expectation was that I will continue to love them, always. They belong to the universe and themselves.

I thought about how I feel lost. I genuinely feel lost since moving, but in a good way. I have felt lost before in a negative way and it was rough but worth it to get through. This is different. I am lost and overjoyed that I have the freedom to find myself. I have time and space. I am not bogged down by busy schedules that I complain about but happen by my own doing. I am not lost in anything, I am not lost in motherhood, or being a wife. I am not lost in a career or friendships. It's just me. I am here in a new place and have the freedom to find things in myself and about myself. It's peaceful and quiet for the most part and I hardly even use my planner. Anyone who knows me well knows that that is a big deal. I don't have much to write in it, but yet I feel like I am doing more. That is another blog post, doing less being more. 

As the water became more still after I was done stretching. Funny thing about the stretching. You float so well in all that Epsom salt that it is effortless. I float there doing these bends and stretches with my naked body. I think about how it feels so damn graceful and artistic. Then I smile thinking about how it probably looks like one of those posts that say "nailed it", because it is far from graceful LOL! I mean who knows, but I like the way it looks in my mind and that's all that matters. 

I realized I had lost the concept of time (which is wonderful in of itself), I laid there on the water feeling so small in best way. It was just little me in a pod with my thoughts and the entire universe around me. There was no worry just wonder. There was no stress just content. That to me is the art relaxation, to rid worry and stress and just be. Not being who you think you need to be, just be. Just be with you and who you are. No clothes, no agenda, no expectations.

A memory came to mind of when I was in high school. It was a weekend and my friend Sara was over. My dad was super moody. He was so moody that we were laughing at him at times while sitting in my bedroom. I started feeling mad at him for being so moody. I made a bowl of ice cream that was basically a gallon of ice cream in a huge bowl. Sara and I were laughing about the ice cream and I'm willing to bet our joy made my dad more moody. That's right, he was super moody. I had forgotten. It got me thinking about how moody I have been lately, or maybe forever, I don't know. I thought about how my daughter sometimes laughs at my moodiness and I get mad. I thought about how moody my son can be. It is all the same moody. Where any and everything makes you feel pissy. The moody where you should probably just be alone for a little while. So I will work on my mood, to avoid it, or find a way to come to terms with it and then I can help my son do the same. Negative mood is like smoke, it just swirls around, slowly taking up all of the space. Everyone around is affected by it. 

I then played around in the water a while and went for some stillness again. I heard the pump kick on and I felt accomplished that I had floated for 90 minutes. I took that wonderful shower and procrastinated taking my ear plugs out. It's almost frightening to take them out. Like a newborn baby being born into all the noise and the chaos. The post float makes for a nice transition. I enjoy that the owner likes to sit with you and chat. He pours you tea and gives you a cookie. He has a way with small talk that makes it not feel like small talk. It is genuine and it flows. He shares about himself and you feel that you could really cover any topic with him. He's calm and honest. It's refreshing. 

Let's talk about results. Besides leaving the spa feeling relaxed, mind and body, I had THE BEST sleep of my life last night. No hip or shoulder pain when I rolled over. Did I even roll over? I did not wake up one single time. I slept solid and sweet all night long. This is usually my biggest problem, I wake up several times a night. I usually can fall right back asleep, but the sleep is so disrupted it affects my day. Unfortunately, I woke up with a sore throat, not from the spa obviously, but I have caught whatever is going around. Which makes me think about how a few times during floating, my head started to feel  heavy and full of pressure, maybe that was a little hint of the cold coming on. Even waking up sick, I felt amazing. I was well rested and that is so valuable.

Looking forward to float number 3!

All the love, 

Caffeine and Freckles