I am no expert on marriage. I was a child of divorce and for several years of my life, vowed to myself that I would never get married, that marriage was a foolish concept. Today we will celebrate our 6th year of marriage and 7 years together as a couple, just getting past our newlywed stage I suppose? We have been through a lot together early on in our relationship. Not necessarily things between us, but being there for each other and dealing with situations as a team. We are not the traditional family (although these days it does seem to be more common). When we started dating, my son from a previous relationship was two years old, and his son and daughter were four and five, also from a previous relationship. Once we moved in together I quickly jumped from having only one child to managing three children, BAM! All ages 5 and under. I have to admit, that felt like a wild ride, but it never felt overwhelming because he was strapped in right beside me. We now have two more children together, putting us as five children. Day to day we have our two and mine, sharing custody of the older two with their mother. This in itself has its own struggles and beauties. The key is not to get caught up in the struggles for too long, but to bask in the beauty.
I have always been independent enough to know that I can do whatever it is I need to do on my own. I'm not scared to be alone, and I was happy there, alone. The difference now is that I don't want to, I'd rather do it all with Louie. Is there things I miss about being single? Sure! I miss how easy it was to keep my apartment clean, picking up after myself and one kid. I could be selfish with my feelings and decisions. I miss not missing alone time, as I am surrounded by children about 95% of the time, or more. That is just what point of life we are at right now. It was more simplistic to financially support my little family of two, but there is a lot more love and experiences to share and enjoy now. Love triumphs over finances.
We never had just him and I. Kids were a part of our togetherness right off the bat. Looks like we carry a heavy load well together. We pull off an impressive balancing act.
The first thing I liked about Louie was his ability to be direct. I tend to be surrounded by passive-aggressive people, so his direct, aggressive approach was very appealing. I was unsure of how I felt initially. Was this guy being rude or direct? I had to think about it. I was so stunned at certain points that it took me several moments to answer his questions. I was stuck, in amazement, wondering, is he being rude? Do I need to get rude back or is this perhaps a very refreshing dose of directness? He was, and continues to be a refreshing dose of directness.
He made me feel like a woman. Not all men get how to do this, and it's probably not the same for every woman. For me, he's got it down, he may not even know it, but he's got it. The strong arm around my shoulder, the random hug and kiss for no reason, the tender kiss on my forehead, and the willingness to be on my side and stand in my corner. He makes me feel safe and he makes me loved. He makes me feel sexy in yoga pants and a sweatshirt with no make up.
The first thing I liked about Louie was his ability to be direct. I tend to be surrounded by passive-aggressive people, so his direct, aggressive approach was very appealing. I was unsure of how I felt initially. Was this guy being rude or direct? I had to think about it. I was so stunned at certain points that it took me several moments to answer his questions. I was stuck, in amazement, wondering, is he being rude? Do I need to get rude back or is this perhaps a very refreshing dose of directness? He was, and continues to be a refreshing dose of directness.
He made me feel like a woman. Not all men get how to do this, and it's probably not the same for every woman. For me, he's got it down, he may not even know it, but he's got it. The strong arm around my shoulder, the random hug and kiss for no reason, the tender kiss on my forehead, and the willingness to be on my side and stand in my corner. He makes me feel safe and he makes me loved. He makes me feel sexy in yoga pants and a sweatshirt with no make up.
He is supportive. He supports my ideas and decisions. He supports my dreams and my goals.
He is emotionally supportive. This I find to be one of the most treasured. It's a tricky thing for some to be emotionally supportive. How exactly do you do it? Is it an action? Is it words? I have been through some of the most emotional times in my life, to where I am not even sure how I would be there for someone, but he was there. His shoulder was there to cry on, his arms were there to hold me, his sense of humor was there to take my mind off of things, and his love was there to make sure I never felt alone. He was there to help me through the pain and the dark, my own personal flashlight.
He is a family man, through and through. His wife and kids come first. We are included in everything, we are a unit, and he makes sure we know how much we mean to him. This includes being a dedicated father. He is involved and hands on, which I believe makes a huge impact on our children.
I couldn't ask for a more true friend. He can keep all my secrets, he can try to understand my feelings, and has my back like no one else can. He can let me know when I'm being hot headed or taking something too personally. Friends make the best team. Our team feels solid, we can do anything.
It's quite the thing he pulls off, being so strong but so soothing. With him by my side I can do anything.
He may not put his clothes in the hamper or always rinse his dish, but he sure can make this woman feel loved. ;-). I always feel at home with him.
I love you Louie, more than I love other people :-)
Happy 6th anniversary.
Jen
No comments:
Post a Comment