Yay I got moms laptop!!

Yay I finally get to use mom's laptop.I think she is looking, let me take a look. Nevermind she is not looking. She is singing the national anthem. She is on the phone now so she can't catch me. 

Here is my full name. Dominique Genevieve Augerlavoie

I'm going to ruin her laptop, just kidding.

Something I want to talk about is how you get your moms laptop from her, it's easy!

When she goes to the kitchen to get a drink of water she comes back to write, she puts it on a new page on her blog. You start writing funny stuff. Then when she reads it she thinks it's funny and might let you write more. But then she probably won't let you write ever again because we aren't supposed to touch the laptop.

I was going to tell you how to sneak on mom, but you can't. she always knows you are there and yells "get out of my room i know you are there!". I want to write more about sneaking but my mom will read this and I will blow it for me and my brothers. 

First Time Mom vs Mom of Many - Self Love

I have been thinking lately about how my thoughts and reactions about motherhood differ so greatly from when I was a first time mom.  Some things I see as positives.  I quit worrying about germs, I learned to loosen up (routine is necessary, but kids need to be able to adapt to change without falling apart) I conquered my fear of dirt and mess, and I realized my kids' had their very own intriguing personalities that didn't need to mirror the majority to be OK.

There is however a few things that I have gotten lazy with after having multiple children.  I'm fine with it, they will survive and so will I. All the laziness does point to something positive, self love. I love myself more than when I started. It makes these things that I thought mattered so much, not matter much at all.

Bedtime:  When I was a mother to one, we had a sweet little bedtime routine.  It went something like, bath time, pajamas and a bed time story, an exchange of loving words, and lights out.  Same time every night.  It was just my son and I.  I had all of my attention to give and the rest of the evening for whatever it is I wanted to do with my time.

These days, depending on what day it is, we (husband and I) have either 3 or 5 children.  Bedtime usually goes a little something like this: "Bed time guys."  We exchange hugs, say our promise of "We'll tuck you in when we come up" (this may or may not happen depending on if they are sleeping or not, or if we are just too exhausted by then to follow through) and off they go upstairs to their rooms.  For about the next 45 minutes various children come halfway down the stairs to make up some bullshit story about how they didn't eat enough, or they are SO thirsty they might die, or another child is throwing things at them, or maybe that the youngest has smuggled a granola bar into bed so can't they just have one too?  Then it may be scary up there, or too hot or too cold. One gets a headache, the other won't stop talking, and the youngest becomes a terrorist if both the older boys are in the room with him to establish his alpha position as the youngest. He usually has to be moved to our bed.  At that point he comes down more than once to tell us that it is scary to be alone and he is giving us two minutes to come up. We ignore his threats and remind him that we will tuck him in when we come up.

I know, the sweet little bedtime routine sounds so much less annoying and ultimately makes bedtime easier, but we are tired.  They are old enough to slip into bed on their own. Although bedtime seems to get a little stressful, we find joy in not having to go upstairs.  That's just how it is now. A routine for 3-5 children? No thank you. I can hardly stay up later than the kids as it is, let me just sit on the couch for a few more minutes.

Kids in the Bed:  I use to worry that I needed to kick them out of my bed by a certain age.  The first one we kicked out at age 2, the second one at age 3, and the baby is 4 and a half and primarily sleeps with us.

I just don't give a shit with the younger one.  We have tried several times to get him out of our bed and into his own.  I know exactly how to do it. It works for a while, but we usually cave at some point because we actually miss cuddling with him. He doesn't get in my way so I don't care. He's only little for a little while. To the older ones, sorry, you had your time, if I can't stretch my legs at night I won't be very nice in the morning and no one wants that.

Buying Toys: When I had one child, I bought him new toys.  I would see cool stuff at Target and think about how much he would just love to have it. I would buy him new toys whenever I wanted. His grandparents bought him new toys whenever they wanted. His Auntie would buy him new toys whenever she wanted. The kid had some cool shit!

I can't remember the last time I bought a new toy that wasn't a gift for some sort of holiday or birthday. I think it happened once or twice in the last 5 years.  Guess what? My kids are happy.  They have stuff to call their own.  Honestly, I don't want all that crap in the house.  I cannot begin to explain the many types of toy organization I have tried over the years.  It works beautifully when I am the one organizing it, but once they get their hands on the system, it is over.  One perfectly intentional toy bin will end up holding a few toys, some dirty clothes, a few clean clothes, a tooth brush, a half eaten granola bar, something from another room, a pair of my underwear, and who knows what else.  I end up feeling resentful of my time and effort put into the organization only to have it literally trashed. My plan for the near future is to build each boy a shelf for the their room. Whatever they want to keep has to fit on the shelf. The little guy can keep his basket in the hall closet, he actually still plays with toys, but for the most part he does whatever the big kids do so he doesn't need much.

Language: I know that many of you will not agree with me here, and that is fine.  This is just my personal take on the subject.  It's not that I didn't used to watch my language, but I had never dropped an F-bomb in front of my kid, and assumed I never would.

As we roll five kids deep, things have changed. I curb my language where I see fit, but I speak in whatever way I need to express myself. They understand that they are not allowed to use these particular words.  They youngest tried on the word "BS" for a time when he was younger, but we moved past it. If I need to drop an F-bomb, I allow myself to do so. I am an adult, which gives me certain privileges that they don't have yet. Kind of like drinking wine.  I drink wine and they know that they cannot. It is simple, and they get it.  My children may hear me swear, but they do not see me do anything that would make me look like a shitty person and that is what matters to me. They see me feel real feelings, they see me love them, they see me grow as a mother and an individual, they see me love their Dad, and they see me be the best version of myself I can be.

Being my World:  This is a tricky one.  I think that somewhere in the middle of the beginning of motherhood and my current resting place, I was stuck.  I was stuck where I needed to be, however, to grow and enter a knew corridor of motherhood.

There was a time when practically everything I did was for or about my children.  They were my world.  I think we say that quite a bit, and we mean it, but when you really break that down it isn't always the most healthy way of thinking. We all love our babies, we all want to raise them the best we can.  We all want our kids to have a beautiful childhood and a special relationship with us. I know that as a stay-at-home-mom you feel like every waking moment you are on duty, which you pretty much are. On the other hand, as a working parent, you are meeting the demands of  your job all day to come home and meet the demands of your children's needs.  There is no part time parent, you are a parent all day either way. Parenthood is a huge responsibility and we all want to get it right.

There came a time though that I quit worrying about getting it right.  I did what I felt was right for each child.  I quit wondering if I should be doing what some other people were doing. Should I be giving more of my time to the school? Should I feel obligated to volunteer on the PTO just because I am home? Should I be making more one on one time with each child just because I am gone at work all day?

I also thought about how great it would be for them to look back on their childhood and be able to have memories of me as a person, not just as their mother. Things I liked to do for me, things that made me happy, things that I couldn't stand, things they loved about me and things that bugged them.  I want my kids to see that I am important to myself.  If you don't take care of you, you really can't give as much as you think you are giving to them.  You become tired.  We are all tired because this gig is a lot of work but I'm talking about tired from the inside.  You're tired because you have made your life so full of them that you leave no life for you.  It is not selfish or something to feel guilty about, it is necessary to show your kids how to take care of themselves as adults.  You need to love yourself and put yourself first. Self love is the foundation for joy.  THAT is something I want for my children. 

Of course I still handle the needs of my children.  I'm just saying it's little things. I don't feel obligated to go to the park because they want to if I really just feel like I need an afternoon coffee and some time to write.  Or maybe I need a down day with tea, knitting, and a good movie.  I spend less time now entertaining them and more time letting them entertain themselves so that I can take care of me.  I am not taking from them, I am giving to them by giving to myself. Childhood is magical without magical efforts from parents. It is magical because you are a child, full of imagination, hopes, and dreams.

They say that professors are referring to the current college generation as the "tea cups" due to how fragile they are.  Parenting has turned into clearing all paths for our kids so that nothing is in their way, nothing will upset them, and accomplishments will be easier to obtain.  They get out into the real world and can't handle hurdles, curve balls, or disappointment. Stress is foreign and too much to handle.  Hurt is too much to bare and self love is not a focus.  Why focus on self love when mom and dad love you more than they love themselves?  I want to feel confident that when my kids are grown, they can push through hard times and problems, coming out stronger and wiser on the other end. I don't need my children to be the best at anything, I need them to love themselves and figure out what makes them happy because my worst fear is for them to grow up and feel that they need other people or things to be happy.

I love my kids to tiny pieces.  They are the majority of my world and I can't imagine it without them.  I do though, appreciate this stage of motherhood where I am focused on self love as my way of giving to them and myself. It is a dark, lonely place to lose yourself.  Your world is spinning around your children, so much so that you don't slow down to see you and your needs, you're simply hanging on for dear life. Our kids deserve better than that and so do we.  It doesn't make you a better parent because you throw every waking moment you have into your children, it simply reflects a diluted sense of time management.

So go love yourself, get back to who you are and what you need and your children will flourish.

I will be over here, enduring a stressful bedtime. Only because I love myself, enough to take those extra 20 minutes or so for myself on the couch. ;-)  They will survive, and so will I. 
<3

 

Reaction Matters

A couple of weeks back I was in the kitchen doing whatever it is I do to help the kids get ready for school. I'm guessing I was making eggs while trying to wipe down counters at the same time. 

This particular morning I was giving my oldest son a gentle, friendly talk about how he needs to be more positive. To talk positive, think positive, and only speak of positive. That this small effort would make his day a better one by automatically adjusting his attitude. I made it sound so simple. I went on and on about how what really matters is how we react to things, not really the "things" that happen. I told him I didn't want that bad juju in the start of my day and I didn't want it for him either. He asked me (with a bit of irritable sarcasm), "So, you're saying if I don't act more positive then bad things will happen?"

"No", I said. "You will be setting yourself up for a bad day is all."

Not two minutes later, I leaned way over the counter to wipe the other side. When I returned to a vertical stance my daughter said, "Oh mom! What happened to your brand new shirt?!"

Bleach! Bleach happened! Somehow I seem to get bleach on my shirts on a consistent basis. I wasn't even using bleach!

My natural reaction was attempting to push its way through the door. I wanted to curse and maybe throw the sponge across the kitchen into the sink. 

As I look down at the bleach stain though, I noticed that it was looking back at me. There it was like on Forrest Gump, a perfect upside down smiley face made of bleach on my new shirt.

The picture doesn't do it justice. It really looks like a happy ass smiling face. 

I stood there, looking at it. I swear I could hear it saying, "Now now, let's show your boy all about that positive attitude you were lecturing about. Be sure you prove to him how your reaction is what matters the most".

I was so torn for the moment. I just bought this shirt! I wasn't even using any bleach! I swallowed hard and I had to laugh a little. Not a joyous laugh, but that "You got me you smiley face son of a bitch" type of laugh. All three kids were watching me closely, waiting for me to react. This was definitely a test. I could feel the scale swaying back and forth. Both the stay positive side and the throw a fit side were so heavy.

"You see!", I exclaimed. "This is just what I was talking about. Normally I would get so upset about this kind of thing but instead I'm gonna take that smiley face as a sign that I should just smile about it."

The kids all smiled and we all genuinely felt that it was a thing. A smiley thing for our morning. My son lightened up and I kept my cool.

I did replace the shirt, but I couldn't get rid of the bleached one. It didn't seem right (yet) to toss out a symbol of mindfulness. 

Today, weeks later, I decided to wear that bleached shirt. I was in a piss poor mood and I thought the shirt would help remind me of the lesson we learned that day. It reminded me, but it didn't change my mood. I will give myself credit for wearing a bleached shirt to aide in my mindfulness, but I will also be mindful that sometimes you are just in a shit mood. If you can recognize that, it's the first step towards moving forward. Everything has to run its course, right?

Holiday Memories

 

Every year around this time I tell myself that next year, I will buy gifts throughout the year and put them away from Christmas.  The idea is that by the time Christmas thrusts upon us, I will be all ready to go.  This is most likely a total pipe dream for me for many reasons.  For one, we are on quite the budget while I am home with the kids, work fluctuates, and we have five children.

I always think it sounds like such a good idea.  Every year we end up having to shop within days of Christmas, and I am not one that enjoys the Christmas crowds, especially while on crutches this year.  Our anniversary is only a few days before Christmas, so it's all meshed together.  If Christmas is on a budget, that usually means anniversary is limited or non existent. One year, we asked Grammy and Pappy to watch the kids while my husband and I used our anniversary day to Christmas shop and enjoy dinner together.  That was a nice night, but I'm avoiding going out as much as I can while I can't walk freely.  Using crutches makes me sweat.  Sweating while not working out and intending to sweat irritates me.  No thanks.

This year I have felt different about it.  We tend to keep Christmas pretty simplistic around here.  For one there is that budget thing I mentioned and for two, I like the kids to enjoy the excitement of gifts, but to see that the focus is on being together and having traditions.  The kids get 2-3 small gifts each and that is that.  We don't have a huge extended family to buy for either, so gift giving is to a minimum. I don't tend to gift to all of my friends, maybe randomly one or two.  Our friendship is worth more than a gift.

Each year since becoming a family of seven, the holidays have seemed to become more and more simplistic.  I love this!  I love it for me, for less stress, and I love it for my kids. We have incorporated some traditions along the way that mean a lot to me.  The first few years of becoming a family it was pretty much gifts in the morning, and then off to whom ever was hosting whatever.  I don't mind that sometimes, but the bigger we became, the more I felt the need to slow it down and have our very own time together and traditions to start and keep.  I want my kids to look back when they are adults and remember things that we did together each year. 

The first Christmas without my dad it was difficult to muster up the Christmas spirit.  I didn't want a tree and I didn't want to decorate or even think about Christmas.  I wanted to get the kids a gift and call it a day.  My mother in law gave me the push I needed.  She gave me a small fake tree and started to set things out.  Christmas was strange that year.  Dad wasn't there, Christmas day was spent at home, at my in-law's and at my sister's with my mom and my brother in-law's family.  Everything had to be rushed to be in three places in one day.  It was even my daughter's first Christmas, but I was sad and lost in grief.

For us we do gifts when we wake up.  Once the oldest two get here from their mom's house, we do a Christmas breakfast.  I set the table extra special and we have homemade biscuits and gravy. Each child has a letter at their place setting and gets to read it  aloud.  In the letter to them I talk about all the accomplishments, growth, and goals they have reached.  They then share with us some of their goals for the coming year.  It's nice for them to each get the spotlight and it's sweet watching their bashful faces beam as they read compliments about themselves aloud. I am admittedly selfish about this part of our day.  I don't want to rush through it because it means something to us, and I don't want to share it because I feel it's important to have something of our own. I have had enough Christmas's that are rushed.  Rushing to get here and rushing to get there, all to appease other people.  We need to appease ourselves first, I don't want my kids growing up to be people pleasers, it's too draining. Not to mention, rushing yourself and five kids is chaotic and quickly drains the holiday spirit.

Maybe they will carry this on to their children in the future, maybe not, but they will remember it as a family Christmas memory. In the time frame of Christmas Eve to the day after Christmas we always spend time with both grandparents and aunts and uncles, also cherished memories for all.  They will remember Christmas Eve at Aunties house with cousin Aidan and Grammy and Pappy and Uncle Jon and Monica, having a big meal, eating Grammy's fudge and cookies, and relaxing around the tree together and playing with their cousin. They will remember years that we spent time at Granny and Grumps on Christmas day, with Auntie Lacy and Grandpa Frank, pulling poppers and playing with all their new stuff. Eating my fudge and pumpkin pie with tons of whipped cream. We also have a holiday get-together with my dad's sisters that live in California, either before Christmas or after. We have a simple tasty meal, gifts for the kids, some mimosas and time together.  It makes it feel like my dad is incorporated into Christmas in some ways, spending the day with his sisters, plus they are fabulous ladies and I love the time I have with them. We have a nice full Christmas season with lots of love and family visits.

Did your family have traditions you enjoyed every year?  Did you stay home?  Did you go to grandma's house?  Did you take off and go somewhere non-traditional.  I have always wanted to sneak off some holiday, the seven of us and go somewhere cool and just spend the day completely different and new, not the norm. When I think of doing that, it always makes me think of the scene from the movie "A Christmas Story", when they have Christmas dinner as a family at a Chinese Restaurant. 

"Fa-Ra Ra Ra Ra, Ra Ra Ra Ra".

My childhood holiday memories?  I have several. 

Leading up to Christmas, my dad would always take my sister and I to a nearby tree lot and help us pick out a tree.  I don't have specific memories of decorating it, but I'm sure we did.  I do have specific memories of decorating a tree at my mom's house.  It was always fun to see the ornaments that you haven't seen for a whole year.  There is something special about only seeing something once a year. I'm somewhat embarrassed to say that up until the last two Christmas's, I didn't let the kids decorate the tree.  I was anal and anxious about it.  I waited until they went to bed and I put out all the décor and decorated the tree.  I know, I know, way to share the cheer right?  Hey, they were really excited to wake up in the morning and see the beautiful tree and all the décor out.  I learned the last few years that I enjoy watching them decorate the tree now.  Yes, I still get a little frantic about fragile pieces or putting heavy ornaments on the bottom and unimportant issues like clumping too many together, but I remind myself to shut up and enjoy the moment and it works.

My dad liked to take us driving around to look at Christmas lights.  I was able to return the favor during his last Christmas with us.  He asked me to drive him around.  It was a quiet drive.  It was sad and special all at once and I think it meant quite a bit to both of us. We usually do a few drives with the kids.  There are some great houses around Granny's house, including Granny's actual house. There is also a spectacular house in our town that has an amazing amount of lights that flutter and blink to the music station that you tune your radio to.  It's a must see every year.

My mom and step dad always had mistletoe hanging in their house and they always stood under it and smooched!  I thought it was pretty cool then and I think it's even cooler now.  It was sweet.  Seeing the affection was healthy.

I remember my dad collecting these tiny little ceramic houses, I think from Gottchalks.  Eventually he would have a small Christmas village that sat on the mantel in December. 

We always had a chain made of construction paper.  You know that ones. You cut one link off every night before bed and when you get to the last one, it's Christmas!

Every Christmas Eve evening we would spend with my mom (and dad) at my maternal grandparents house.  We would have Christmas dinner, or sometimes KFC (LOL), and exchange gifts.  The evening was full of my grandfather's jokes and jabs at my grandmother and she always came back with a quick witted comment.  All the cousins were there and it would be a blast.  I always felt a little bummed when it got late and it was time to head home.  I didn't want the fun to end. The best part about going home though, was that dad always let my sister and I open up one gift from him that had been under the tree.  He always seemed as excited as we were.  One gift right before bed to build up the anticipation for tomorrow. 

In the morning we would open the gifts from my dad and usually go to one of our aunt's homes, or my paternal grandparents house, again having fun with the cousins and being so excited to see grandma and grandpa.  They lived far enough to where we didn't see them a ton and it made it super exciting to visit with them.  My grandfather was always great about showing his enthusiasm when it came to us grand kids.  He would crouch down with arms open wide, cheeks pink, and the biggest smile I'd ever seen, exclaiming "kiddo!".  Those had to have been my favorite hugs as a child. My grandmother always had the most elegant, loving touch. She made me feel delicate and pretty, like a flower, her soothing voice alone made me feel safe and warm. The "Jane Adams Potatoes" were a special treat, a family recipe. Creamy comfort food.  I always wondered why they were called that.  I figured Jane Adams must have been a chef, or someone of importance, or maybe just a description of food that I didn't comprehend.  I learned only a few  years ago that my grandmother got the recipe decades ago from a lady who lived down the street, her name was Jane Adams. So, she called them Jane Adams Potatoes.  Perfectly hilarious.

It was easy as a kid.  You just get really excited, put a pretty dress on and go wherever your parents took you.  Now you have your family,  your spouse's family, plus your own nuclear family and sometimes one or both of those families are split and do not celebrate together.  It's just too much to be expected to be everywhere, but we do what we can.

I tried to branch out last year and do a gingerbread house kit.  Not sure I'll do that again.  It was fun and all, I can't remember if everyone wanted to just eat it, or if no one wanted to eat it and I had this food house sitting around.  We don't even visit Santa every year.  I'm going for simple, so I don't want to feel obligated to cram too many activities into one month, and the kids don't mind a bit. They have no expectations besides being together, opening a gift, seeing family, and biscuits and gravy. I want to go this year because my youngest has never been. When I was a part of a local mom's group, we attended some activities like caroling, cookie decorating, Christmas crafts.  These were great fun, but as they get older we are slowing down.  I'm still trying to figure out every year how to buy the kids' gifts without them around since we end up having to wait until they are already on Christmas break. I don't even have the urge to bake this year.  I plan to make fudge, as my mother in law won't let me in if I don't bring it (just kidding Granny) and my stepson has already requested peanut butter fudge, so I'd love to make that happen.

I still feel like it was just summer a few weeks ago.  Football practice, shorts, sweat, sunscreen, and popsicles.  Now it's almost time to roast chestnuts on an open fire!?  It creeps up faster every year.

So have a wonderfully busy season or a laid back slow season, which ever you prefer and enjoy it while it's here.  Soon it will be spring and everyone will be coloring eggs.  Enjoy your traditions and enjoy your visits. Don't drink and drive and don't be a hater.  Haters suck all year long, but especially during the holidays ;-)

I am one of those people that say "Happy Holidays".  I am not against "Merry Christmas", but the way I see it, November and December are months that are full of holidays of all kinds.  It doesn't have to be exclusively dedicated to religion.  It's a time for remembering thanks and it's a time to give and be grateful for everyone, as we are all the same in that way and we all can feel joy from it.

Happy Holidays, from mine to yours.

Big Family Zone - You Might Have a Big Family If...

I was thinking today about how different it was when I had only one child. I was a single mom with one boy. I suppose it was hard doing it alone, but it was also all I knew of parenthood. It was just him and I from the start.

When Louie and I moved in together and started having his son and daughter (my now step children) on a regular schedule, we all of a sudden had three kids! They were 5, 4, and 2 years old. It was new and felt like a lot of work!  The weekend would feel like a whirl wind of little loud voices, tattle telling, laughing, crying, arguing, hugs, scraped knees, bike rides, picky eating, and lots of love.

I was used to one kid. This meant one bath before bedtime, one meal to accommodate only one little person's pickiness. This was one kid to keep track of while out and about. This was the time of one kid to buy tokens for at an arcade. The time of throwing one birthday party a year. Bickering was never an element in our lives, as my son had no one to bicker with. I would soon learn that he is the most argumentative child I would have. A time of worrying about one kid's happiness and health was no more.

I remember the weekend that I had a realization. I was watching the three of them go from room to room, leaving trails of whatever they were getting their hands into. Toys and books were everywhere and without notice, they were off to the next thing! It was too much chaos and too much mess. It was then I realized that it needed management. I never thought of it that way with one child. Things were pretty simplistic, there was no need to make it more complex by adding unnecessary schedules. We had a nap and a bedtime, and he had daycare while I had work. Three little people though, with no management was chaos.

I know this is a crappy quality photo above, but this is the photo that depicts our life perfectly when we were new to three. We were tired, but happy, and had kids climbing all over us, some happy, some rowdy, and some grouchy. That was three.

I remember the very moment I had everyone clean up their mess to get ready to play with clay. I had them sit at the little Wiggles table together. It was time to play with clay. That was all we were doing and we would not be moving forward onto anything else until playing with clay was over and cleaned up. I immediately felt the confidence I needed to be a mother figure to three young kids when just the prior weekend I was the mother to only one. 

We moved on to dinner. After dinner we took turns on getting these three baths done. We read a story before bed, and we tucked our wild ones in. I have to admit, car rides were challenging. We were trying to squeeze three boosters into the backseat of my Chevy Malibu. It was hard to buckle, it provoked whining and arguing. Dad had a great idea to keep the belts buckled and let them slide in and tighten it up once they were in. This saved us, another wise management desicion. We continued to become better "managers" and adapted to our new roles as a step mom and a step dad and the dynamics that came with the territory.

A little over a year later, we found out we were having a baby together. A little girl. This meant four kids! To me, four kids was stepping into "big family" zone. I always felt that 1 or 2 kids was a "small family, and that 3 kids was "medium", but 4 and up? That was treading on territory where it could be possible that all the stockings may not fit on the mantel at Christmas!

That year was huge, I got married, I became a step mother to two children, I spent my pregnancy helping to care for my dad while he lost his battle to cancer, and I had my baby girl. We decided I would not return to work. I stayed home with the kids and we ended up buying our first home in a new town. This is where we decided to have one more baby. Five kids!

We were having a boy! He had two, I had one, then we had two together. His, mine, and ours. There is no doubt at the 5 kid mark that you are in the "big family" zone.

Here are some signs:

Making sandwiches for lunch requires an entire loaf of bread.

A regular size box of cereal will barely make breakfast happen. And neither will a gallon of milk.

No one likes the same veggie. Except corn on the cob, everyone likes that.

A normal size box of cheeze-its, will only last as a snack for one trip to the park, not a snack for the week.

You need a vehicle that has a third row.

When at local festivities, they already know to discuss what flavor smoothies (or other fun beverage) to agree on because we are NOT going to buy five over priced smoothies! It will be one for the boys, one for the girls, and one for the little guy to share with mom and dad.

There is lots of arguing. Like, a lot. It's mostly about the most stupid shit you could imagine. Other times I hear a valid argument and let both sides plead their case. There are 5 personalities that think they are right and often feel they have been wronged, so again, lots of arguing.

No matter how much arguing has occurred in a day, they will band together and stand up for one another like a small, loving Gang, if an outsider intends to do harm.

You don't invite many kids to the birthday parties you throw because your own children are like a small party already.

When everyone needs new shoes, it's a big deal.

No one likes dinner at the same time, ever. Someone, always, will say they don't like it.

Special one on one time can consist of running an errand with momma without your siblings, it does not have to include a stop at an ice cream shop or some special event, the focus truly is the alone time together. You cherish it as much as they do.

Picture day is a little hectic 😳

Laundry. That's all I have to say about that.

Showers are quite the process.

You develop a habit of counting your kids when you are out. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, OK" Then one veers off from the crowd, "1, 2, 3, 4, ...... Dammit! Where's your brother?!?!"

When you are out in public, no one has to use the bathroom at the same time, but at home everyone has to pee, causing an argument of who gets to go first.

People will make comments like "wow, you have your own basketball team", or "I don't know how you do it!", or maybe "you sure do have your hands full".

There are also people who make amazing comments like "good for you! You don't see as many big families anymore!", or "that is beautiful". 

Your house is exploding with love and diverse personalities.

There are so many smiles in a single day.

You never feel guilty about using the carpool lane.

Holidays are filled with extra love and joy, and lots of mugs of hot chocolate. 

Seeing your small, loving gang get along and love one another is a priceless beauty only you can understand.

Now don't get your panties all bunched. I am in no way implying that being parents of one or two kids is a piece of cake, I've been there and most of the above still applies, but I would say at 5 kids, it intensifies a bit and is always a little louder.

😉

I know a few parents who have more than 5 kids. I'm sure you can add some more signs of a big family to my list! 

For someone who doesn't like noise or mess, I sure do enjoy this large family we have created and teamwork it takes to keep it flowing. I wouldn't have it any other way.