Float Pod, Round 2!

 Last night I had my second float therapy at Crystal Waters Float Spa. I had been told that the second float is much different than the first, usually better. You already know what to expect and you can turn your mind off more easily since being in the pod isn't so new this time around. This seemed like the perfect week for a float after the extra frustrating experience at a car dealership, having had hip and shoulder pain, and just feeling like I could use all the relaxation I could find and call my own.

I will say first that I should not have drank that latte at 2pm. My appointment wasn't until 6pm, but I sipped on it for over an hour I'm sure and I seem to be more sensitive to caffeine lately. It didn't ruin the experience, but I always hope to doze off in the pod and that just wasn't happening.

This time I chose their new "astral projection" music. The owner (who is just a spectacular guy) offered to play it during the duration of the float instead of only the first five minutes. The music was amazing. If I was still, I could easily imagine myself floating somewhere in the middle of the universe. This time I was going to float for 90 minutes. That is 30 minutes longer than my first float. There was something different about floating at night. It was already dark outside when I arrived. I liked it better that way. Last time, leaving the shop and entering back into the non floating world was more intense. There was daylight, and noise, and cars everywhere. This time it was dark, quiet, and less hussle bussle around town.

So here I go. I got ready for shampoo and soap shower. They don't skimp here, the dispenser is filled with wonderful aromatic soap that feels like silk on your skin. I got my earplugs in and got all cleaned up for pod time. The temperature is color coded. Green is warm, red is much warmer and when red begins to flash, it will probably burn you. Makes it simplistic to get your shower temperature just right, which I appreciate.

It's pod time! The color changing light inside can be turned on and off at any time. I kept it on just for a minute or two and then shut it off. I prefer the darkness. Even having the music on the whole time was almost distracting. Darkness and silence together would be much more sensory deprived, but I thought I would try out the music this time around. I love the shower, but my favorite pre-float task is probably turning my phone to silent. There is a sense of freedom in turning your phone off knowing that no one can interrupt your time. 

During my first float I moved around a lot in the beginning, being more still toward the end. This time I got into the water and was immediately still. The music was perfect and the temperature was comforting. At one point I felt like I was in a giant cupped hand, being suspended in the air. Everything is comfortable, warm, and still. Then my caffeine thoughts came rushing in. I found it challenging this time to turn my mind off. Maybe it was the latte, maybe it was just my busy mind and I felt I had the space to go through all of these thoughts. Despite my racing thoughts I fully enjoyed myself for 90 minutes.

I found myself thinking about my stepdaughter and the current situation we are in with her. I then made the conscious decision to put it out of my mind. It is the prime example of "letting go". Certain things are out of our control and there is not much we can do to change them. Even through hurt, pain, and confusion, we have to find a way to move on. You can still love and you can still hurt and I am huge advocate of feeling your feelings, but your mind needs to take the healthy step to move forward and not become stagnant. 

I thought about my daughter, and how I think she needs more of my time. I thought about all of my children, but not as my children. I thought of them as the individuals that they are and who they might become. I close friend of mine has said in conversation before that our children do not belong to us, they are not ours. They are their own and we are with them right now to guide them. I think about her words often in regard to motherhood, but I always had a hard time releasing that territorial feeling about them. I could see it now though, in these thoughts. I am here to love them and guide them and then let them go. They might stay close to me or they may go far, geographically and emotionally. I felt at that moment I was letting go of expectation. My only expectation was that I will continue to love them, always. They belong to the universe and themselves.

I thought about how I feel lost. I genuinely feel lost since moving, but in a good way. I have felt lost before in a negative way and it was rough but worth it to get through. This is different. I am lost and overjoyed that I have the freedom to find myself. I have time and space. I am not bogged down by busy schedules that I complain about but happen by my own doing. I am not lost in anything, I am not lost in motherhood, or being a wife. I am not lost in a career or friendships. It's just me. I am here in a new place and have the freedom to find things in myself and about myself. It's peaceful and quiet for the most part and I hardly even use my planner. Anyone who knows me well knows that that is a big deal. I don't have much to write in it, but yet I feel like I am doing more. That is another blog post, doing less being more. 

As the water became more still after I was done stretching. Funny thing about the stretching. You float so well in all that Epsom salt that it is effortless. I float there doing these bends and stretches with my naked body. I think about how it feels so damn graceful and artistic. Then I smile thinking about how it probably looks like one of those posts that say "nailed it", because it is far from graceful LOL! I mean who knows, but I like the way it looks in my mind and that's all that matters. 

I realized I had lost the concept of time (which is wonderful in of itself), I laid there on the water feeling so small in best way. It was just little me in a pod with my thoughts and the entire universe around me. There was no worry just wonder. There was no stress just content. That to me is the art relaxation, to rid worry and stress and just be. Not being who you think you need to be, just be. Just be with you and who you are. No clothes, no agenda, no expectations.

A memory came to mind of when I was in high school. It was a weekend and my friend Sara was over. My dad was super moody. He was so moody that we were laughing at him at times while sitting in my bedroom. I started feeling mad at him for being so moody. I made a bowl of ice cream that was basically a gallon of ice cream in a huge bowl. Sara and I were laughing about the ice cream and I'm willing to bet our joy made my dad more moody. That's right, he was super moody. I had forgotten. It got me thinking about how moody I have been lately, or maybe forever, I don't know. I thought about how my daughter sometimes laughs at my moodiness and I get mad. I thought about how moody my son can be. It is all the same moody. Where any and everything makes you feel pissy. The moody where you should probably just be alone for a little while. So I will work on my mood, to avoid it, or find a way to come to terms with it and then I can help my son do the same. Negative mood is like smoke, it just swirls around, slowly taking up all of the space. Everyone around is affected by it. 

I then played around in the water a while and went for some stillness again. I heard the pump kick on and I felt accomplished that I had floated for 90 minutes. I took that wonderful shower and procrastinated taking my ear plugs out. It's almost frightening to take them out. Like a newborn baby being born into all the noise and the chaos. The post float makes for a nice transition. I enjoy that the owner likes to sit with you and chat. He pours you tea and gives you a cookie. He has a way with small talk that makes it not feel like small talk. It is genuine and it flows. He shares about himself and you feel that you could really cover any topic with him. He's calm and honest. It's refreshing. 

Let's talk about results. Besides leaving the spa feeling relaxed, mind and body, I had THE BEST sleep of my life last night. No hip or shoulder pain when I rolled over. Did I even roll over? I did not wake up one single time. I slept solid and sweet all night long. This is usually my biggest problem, I wake up several times a night. I usually can fall right back asleep, but the sleep is so disrupted it affects my day. Unfortunately, I woke up with a sore throat, not from the spa obviously, but I have caught whatever is going around. Which makes me think about how a few times during floating, my head started to feel  heavy and full of pressure, maybe that was a little hint of the cold coming on. Even waking up sick, I felt amazing. I was well rested and that is so valuable.

Looking forward to float number 3!

All the love, 

Caffeine and Freckles

Eight things I like about Utah so far.

I've been in Utah now for three months. Not long, but long enough to see some things I really like about being here. I thought I'd share some of the perks with you all.

1. You know those phone calls that you dread making? The calls that require you to painfully navigate through those horrible automated systems? The calls that almost guarantee a long wait time? Those calls that you promise yourself you will keep your cool about? The calls that help you find yourself on the phone with the most angry, repressed, resentful human being on the other end of the line? They sound miserable and scripted and they talk to you like you are a fucking idiot. Don't ask a question either, because now you're not just an idiot, you're a fucking moron. They are pissed about their job, pissed about answering your dumb ass questions, pissed about the shitty sandwich they brought for lunch, and probably still pissed about some childhood bullshit they haven't worked passed yet. Every once in a blue moon I would get a lovely person on the line that at least acted like they enjoyed helping me. Actually, it was more like they enjoyed their paycheck every Friday so they showed it in their phone manner. Usually though I got an angry, bored, epitome of rude type of person on the phone.

Since moving to Utah, every dreadful phone call I have had to make has been pleasant AS FUCK! At first it made me question things. Things like life and my own existence. Whey were these phone calls so easy? They were smooth like butter. The happy people on the other end of the line were not only nice, but helpful! They even offered extra information that I didn't even ask for, because I wouldn't know to ask, and they knew that! They had manners. Not the kind of phone manners where you have to be nice or you will get written up, like real manners. They are either super nice people, or they are con artists. Either way, it made my phone call experiences top notch. It restored some faith I had lost in people getting into human services to actually help humans. I had started to think it wasn't a thing anymore.

Why is it not like this in CA? Maybe it is the population factor? Higher population leads to higher call volumes leads to RUDE? Maybe they are mad that everything costs so much in CA and can't leave that bitterness at home, they bring that shit to work? Maybe it was me? Oh God, was it me? Maybe I was bitter and resentful and they fed off of my attitude. I couldn't say, but making phone calls out here is damn near like calling a friend. I can't wait to see what it will be like when I visit the DMV to get my UT license. I'm thinking if the wait gets to be too long they might offer me cucumber water and a lavender oil massage.

2. Coffee shops! So, in my smallish (35,000 pop.) town there is a fabulous, privately owned drive through coffee shop, Janna's Coffee. Great coffee, great people. They also have a kids menu where they have $1 and $2 drinks for the little barista babies. There are two other drive up coffee shops in town that I haven't tried yet but heard great things about, like Brookie-cookie telling me that one makes their own whipped cream. Of course there is also a Starbucks, because where is there not a Starbucks? I prefer to give my coffee money to a small business than a big banger, but sometimes I have to scratch an itch for a chai latte or green tea latte, and they make one of the best. I also recently heard from my beautiful neighbor friend (also a Brooke and something I like about UT) that if your dog is riding along with you, you can ask for a pup cup, a little whipped cream treat for Fido, how cute is that!? Why didn't I know that?

What I haven't tapped into yet is all the awesome looking coffee shops I see when I browse Yelp, in Salt Lake City. Yes! I need to go! First on my list is The Rose Establishment. It looks to be right up my decaffeinated alley, the food...mmm. I was thrilled to see so many shops that seemed to have the whole Portland or Venice Beach vibe. I attended a writer's group that meets at Watch Tower Cafe, also in SLC. This place was great. Comic book themed, specialty drinks, comic book swaps, board games to play and tons of seating. My daughter tried the Hello Kitty, a specialty strawberry soda they whip together and top off with whipped cream and pink sprinkles. They drew a pink kitty on the cup and my girl felt like a million bucks. I had my own intimate moments with the hummus plate. The perfect serving size of hummus that leaves some left over after you've dipped all the veggies and pita. So whatever item is left you, cover every inch in the last of the hummus, you're not going to waste it are you? I would eat it with a spoon if I was certain no one was watching.

My youngest doesn't attend kindergarten until the afternoon so, I'm thinking him and I need to go on a weekly date to check out a new coffee shop each week. He can critique the hot cocoa while I get lost in my love of matcha. Quality time with the boy.

3. Blue Lemon. I'm so happy this establishment is a part of my life now. It's casual dining, but a higher end. It's obviously more expensive than fast food and there's a reason, real food, real nutrition, real good. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, kids, girlfriends, solo meal, whatever. Plenty of proteins and greens. Everything on the menu includes nutrient rich foods. Nothing fried, nothing nuked. Fresh, quality ingredients, and plenty of taste bud-flirting flavors. Mindful eating. I visited the Lehi location for dinner and had the coconut curry chicken breast. If I could type food noises I would. I really liked the portion size too, it was enough to leave you feeling satisfied rather than leave you in that guilt ridden, over indulging zone. I also stole a few bites of the kid's chicken tenders. Delicious. Crispy, juicy, white meat. I am not a soda drinker, but I drink theirs! They carry Stubborn Soda, an all natural, real sugar soda. The cream soda is like a light dessert. They also had a lemon acia berry, I believe, tasty!

At the SLC location, the husband and I had stopped for a little dessert. We had the peanut butter brownie. I usually stay away from dairy and sweets, but I ravaged that little sweetheart like a flesh eating zombie. A little latte on the side and it was the perfect treat.

4. Family and kid friendly. We all know that Utah is full of large families. This makes it a great place to raise kids. I still can't believe how much inexpensive or free activities and events there are for the kids, or the whole family for that matter. I was blown away by Halloween, there was some sort of event or activity every weekend of the month leading up to the day! There are splash pads, beautiful parks with lakes and walking trails, plenty of places to hike and picnic, moto sports access EVERYWHERE, all kinds of events and shows, impressive museums, tons of community events for the kids to take part in, library events, you name it. Tons to do and so much to see. I can't wait to see all the fun in store for Christmas time.

5. I feel like there is a lot more availability when it comes to organic and alternative foods. This is most likely due to where I lived in CA. The central valley has come a long way and is continuing to do its part, but has not quite caught up to the Bay Area or L.A. area when it comes to organic and natural foods. I was delighted to find such a large selection of organic and local produce in our grocery store here in town. Lot's of wheat free alternatives as well. In a thirty mile radius, there are tons of natural food stores. I visited a Natural Grocers in Sugar House (my favorite area of SLC so far). I was walking around there with my boy, feeling like a bride to be in a bridal boutique. I felt at peace. Yes, those are organic candy canes.

6. IKEA isn't far. How did I never make it to an IKEA? It's only about 40 minutes away from me here. OK, that isn't really something to like about UT, but I just finally went and I love it, so I'm happy about it and still have excitement about it after a few weeks, so it made the list. Let's just talk about IKEA for a minute. It's huge and overwhelming, but it's simple and the simplicity is calming. It's like a building of contradiction, I view myself in a similar fashion. It was just great and I can't wait to go back when I have more time to walk around and really take it all in. The kids loved it to, although I plan to ditch them the next time I go. Sorry, momma loves you.

7. I don't want to prematurely say that I love snow. I have literally had one day of it. Technically it snowed at night and they day was covered in already fallen snow. I am a snow virgin. I went to Tahoe as a kid and made snow angels and then about 11 years ago I went with my Janet to take our babies sledding not far from her house. This is the extent of my experience with snow. Oh wait! Also 11 years ago I was driving to OR with my cousin, Lauren. When driving in OR, there were some snow flakes falling, nothing on the ground though. That is IT. So watching it snow the other night and seeing everything magically turn into a winter wonderland was pretty exciting. I'm open to the fact that I may grumble about it after months in a row or having to drive in it, or shovel it, but for now it is magical, it may even stay magical. It feels right. It feels correct that it be cold and there be snow on the ground as the holidays approach. Everyone slows down a little. Kids are in the front yard sliding down the slope of their lawn and parents and throwing snow balls at their kids. It's a nice, freezing little reminder to slow down and enjoy the special time of year. It feels how it should be. At this moment, for now, I like it. A lot.

8. I love how everyone is all about the college teams! Everywhere you look is U of U or BYU. Flags outside of homes, sweatshirts, car decals, slippers, t-shirts, pajama pants, hair bows, coffee mugs. The husband got a free pair of skull candy headphones with Utah University on the side. I love all the pride for the college teams, it creates a sense of unity and encouragment.

Some things that I am struggling with is that fact that the ocean is so far away from me and that they don't paint the word  "STOP" on the ground next to the stop sign. I never knew how much I relied on that white paint! I have almost ran many a stop sign out here! I see the sign, it's red, it's there, but it just doesn't fully register with me. I need those words on the asphalt to scream at me at the same time I notice the red sign. I am feeling like more of a safe driver again now that I'm adjusting, but it was getting scary there for a while. Now in my neighborhood I find myself stopping where there is no stop. The same intersections, every day. Why can't I get it? It's a trust issue. I trusted the asphalt to tell me to stop and it didn't. Now I don't trust the sign to tell me whats up either. If it looks like a possible stop, I find myself "California stopping", just to make sure I don't need to lock up the breaks.
The sign and I will come to terms soon enough, but the ocean will never be closer.

After a while I can write what I miss about CA. I miss people, but I don't actually miss CA yet, it hasn't been long enough. I'm still in the honeymoon stage of a new place and loving change. I started to freak out a few weeks ago, realizing there weren't many trees around me. What had I done? How could I have put myself somewhere with no trees? They are a vital part of my everything! That's when I ventured out of my town and found a lovely area full of trees, natural grocery stores, and lots of brick buildings. I felt back in touch with myself.

Stay tuned for more random writings and recipes.

All the love,

Caffeine and Freckles