I will say first that I should not have drank that latte at 2pm. My appointment wasn't until 6pm, but I sipped on it for over an hour I'm sure and I seem to be more sensitive to caffeine lately. It didn't ruin the experience, but I always hope to doze off in the pod and that just wasn't happening.
This time I chose their new "astral projection" music. The owner (who is just a spectacular guy) offered to play it during the duration of the float instead of only the first five minutes. The music was amazing. If I was still, I could easily imagine myself floating somewhere in the middle of the universe. This time I was going to float for 90 minutes. That is 30 minutes longer than my first float. There was something different about floating at night. It was already dark outside when I arrived. I liked it better that way. Last time, leaving the shop and entering back into the non floating world was more intense. There was daylight, and noise, and cars everywhere. This time it was dark, quiet, and less hussle bussle around town.
So here I go. I got ready for shampoo and soap shower. They don't skimp here, the dispenser is filled with wonderful aromatic soap that feels like silk on your skin. I got my earplugs in and got all cleaned up for pod time. The temperature is color coded. Green is warm, red is much warmer and when red begins to flash, it will probably burn you. Makes it simplistic to get your shower temperature just right, which I appreciate.
It's pod time! The color changing light inside can be turned on and off at any time. I kept it on just for a minute or two and then shut it off. I prefer the darkness. Even having the music on the whole time was almost distracting. Darkness and silence together would be much more sensory deprived, but I thought I would try out the music this time around. I love the shower, but my favorite pre-float task is probably turning my phone to silent. There is a sense of freedom in turning your phone off knowing that no one can interrupt your time.
During my first float I moved around a lot in the beginning, being more still toward the end. This time I got into the water and was immediately still. The music was perfect and the temperature was comforting. At one point I felt like I was in a giant cupped hand, being suspended in the air. Everything is comfortable, warm, and still. Then my caffeine thoughts came rushing in. I found it challenging this time to turn my mind off. Maybe it was the latte, maybe it was just my busy mind and I felt I had the space to go through all of these thoughts. Despite my racing thoughts I fully enjoyed myself for 90 minutes.
I found myself thinking about my stepdaughter and the current situation we are in with her. I then made the conscious decision to put it out of my mind. It is the prime example of "letting go". Certain things are out of our control and there is not much we can do to change them. Even through hurt, pain, and confusion, we have to find a way to move on. You can still love and you can still hurt and I am huge advocate of feeling your feelings, but your mind needs to take the healthy step to move forward and not become stagnant.
I thought about my daughter, and how I think she needs more of my time. I thought about all of my children, but not as my children. I thought of them as the individuals that they are and who they might become. I close friend of mine has said in conversation before that our children do not belong to us, they are not ours. They are their own and we are with them right now to guide them. I think about her words often in regard to motherhood, but I always had a hard time releasing that territorial feeling about them. I could see it now though, in these thoughts. I am here to love them and guide them and then let them go. They might stay close to me or they may go far, geographically and emotionally. I felt at that moment I was letting go of expectation. My only expectation was that I will continue to love them, always. They belong to the universe and themselves.
I thought about how I feel lost. I genuinely feel lost since moving, but in a good way. I have felt lost before in a negative way and it was rough but worth it to get through. This is different. I am lost and overjoyed that I have the freedom to find myself. I have time and space. I am not bogged down by busy schedules that I complain about but happen by my own doing. I am not lost in anything, I am not lost in motherhood, or being a wife. I am not lost in a career or friendships. It's just me. I am here in a new place and have the freedom to find things in myself and about myself. It's peaceful and quiet for the most part and I hardly even use my planner. Anyone who knows me well knows that that is a big deal. I don't have much to write in it, but yet I feel like I am doing more. That is another blog post, doing less being more.
As the water became more still after I was done stretching. Funny thing about the stretching. You float so well in all that Epsom salt that it is effortless. I float there doing these bends and stretches with my naked body. I think about how it feels so damn graceful and artistic. Then I smile thinking about how it probably looks like one of those posts that say "nailed it", because it is far from graceful LOL! I mean who knows, but I like the way it looks in my mind and that's all that matters.
I realized I had lost the concept of time (which is wonderful in of itself), I laid there on the water feeling so small in best way. It was just little me in a pod with my thoughts and the entire universe around me. There was no worry just wonder. There was no stress just content. That to me is the art relaxation, to rid worry and stress and just be. Not being who you think you need to be, just be. Just be with you and who you are. No clothes, no agenda, no expectations.
A memory came to mind of when I was in high school. It was a weekend and my friend Sara was over. My dad was super moody. He was so moody that we were laughing at him at times while sitting in my bedroom. I started feeling mad at him for being so moody. I made a bowl of ice cream that was basically a gallon of ice cream in a huge bowl. Sara and I were laughing about the ice cream and I'm willing to bet our joy made my dad more moody. That's right, he was super moody. I had forgotten. It got me thinking about how moody I have been lately, or maybe forever, I don't know. I thought about how my daughter sometimes laughs at my moodiness and I get mad. I thought about how moody my son can be. It is all the same moody. Where any and everything makes you feel pissy. The moody where you should probably just be alone for a little while. So I will work on my mood, to avoid it, or find a way to come to terms with it and then I can help my son do the same. Negative mood is like smoke, it just swirls around, slowly taking up all of the space. Everyone around is affected by it.
I then played around in the water a while and went for some stillness again. I heard the pump kick on and I felt accomplished that I had floated for 90 minutes. I took that wonderful shower and procrastinated taking my ear plugs out. It's almost frightening to take them out. Like a newborn baby being born into all the noise and the chaos. The post float makes for a nice transition. I enjoy that the owner likes to sit with you and chat. He pours you tea and gives you a cookie. He has a way with small talk that makes it not feel like small talk. It is genuine and it flows. He shares about himself and you feel that you could really cover any topic with him. He's calm and honest. It's refreshing.
Let's talk about results. Besides leaving the spa feeling relaxed, mind and body, I had THE BEST sleep of my life last night. No hip or shoulder pain when I rolled over. Did I even roll over? I did not wake up one single time. I slept solid and sweet all night long. This is usually my biggest problem, I wake up several times a night. I usually can fall right back asleep, but the sleep is so disrupted it affects my day. Unfortunately, I woke up with a sore throat, not from the spa obviously, but I have caught whatever is going around. Which makes me think about how a few times during floating, my head started to feel heavy and full of pressure, maybe that was a little hint of the cold coming on. Even waking up sick, I felt amazing. I was well rested and that is so valuable.
Looking forward to float number 3!
All the love,
Caffeine and Freckles
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