Appropriate Dress Required

Just a few decades back, most of the population had an understanding of appropriate dress for certain occasion.  Yes, the world has become a more casual place in general, people used to get dressed up to go to the airport, now the thought is that if you are going to sit in an airplane for several hours, you should be comfortable, I agree.  However, I think schools (but mostly parents) should start teaching our children when it is time to dress up a bit.  Most kids actually love it! 

I do NOT agree that people need to be brand name whores and need to dress in whatever is popular at the moment.  If you like that, great.  If you don't, that does not mean you are less cool than the people that do.  This is not an opinion, this is fact.

Anyway, I think if we brought our kids up with the idea that we dress nice on holiday get togethers (unless of course your family does it totally casual, that is awesome too), that we dress up for church, for ceremonies, and for special occasions, they will bring this to adulthood with them, and then teach their children the same. 

Unfortunately, my husband and I go to family law court often for visitation issues.  The morning of my husband puts on some slacks and a nice shirt accompanied by some dress shoes and a belt.  I put on dress pants and a nice shirt, or perhaps a skirt, basically an outfit I would consider wearing to work in a business casual environment.

We show up to be surrounded by men with jeans twice the appropriate size with extremely large t-shirts and tennis shoes.  Really?  You are in here to either fight for time with your child or settle a divorce.  I would think you would want to have the respect of the judge, and even the lawyers. 

Don't let me get started on the women.  Ladies, you might have a REALLY cute dress in your closet.  You might think it makes your behind look amazing. This dress is NOT for court appearances!  Getting dressed up for court or other important meetings is never the same as getting dressed up to go to the club, ever!  Then to make matters worse, the 4 inch unprofessional heels you added to your ensemble only make you look like one particular profession, which is illegal and frowned upon in the court house.

It actually says on the hand out the family law court gives you to "dress how you want to be treated".  Not that that always happens, because let me tell you, that is a whole other blog post.

I want to make sure my kids know when it is necessary to dress up a bit.  They don't need to go through life looking like slobs and not being taken seriously. 

Repinned!

Becoming a stay at home mom was a huge change in life.  Raising children is difficult, worth it, but lets be honest, it's difficult.  I worked 40 or more hours a week, commuted home, picked up my kid, rushed to get dinner made, then it's bath time and almost bed time.  Not a lot of quality time with my boy.

Staying at home added unbeleivable amounts of tasks to that list.  I also added more children to the list, and lets not forget the two hyper dogs. 

I dived head first into my children.   I want them raised with manners, passion, confidence, I want them to question the world and everything in it.  Most of all I want them to know themselves, really know who they are and what they love and what they do not want in their life, what makes them happy, what hobbies drive them, and how they like to relax.  By knowing yourself better than you know anything else is the best way to get what you want out of life and live it to the fullest degree.

I want that so bad that I started to loose that in myself.  At least I recognized it and tried to focus on me a bit more.  I am so busy it's hard to find time for things for just me.  If I'm not doing things for the kids I am spending time with my husband or getting things done.

I finally found something that has shown me some grace.....Pinterest!

Okay, so I complain about my husband playing video games and I guess Pinterest would be similar, but I have it and it is mine!  I can look at pretty things, I can learn things, I can show them to other people, I can just sit, relax, and browse "stuff".  Last night as I lay in bed listening to my husband play Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3 in the backround on his PS3, I lay there with my iPad, browsing my search for "vintage dishes".  I cannot beleive the calming happiness that came over me.  Looking at these pretty dishes made me smile, I felt at peace as I repinned several of my favorites onto a new board I titled "dishes". It was like I was walking through an antique shop, but I was cozy in bed.

Then I thought of more "stuff" that I like and the searches began....french vintage, vintage tins, I repinned as much as I possibly could before I knew I had to get to bed, since I have to get up early with the baby, and Dominique would be sneaking in to my bed at early morning hours making it impossible for me to roll over or even adjust my position in any way.  I had to get my sleep.

Pinterest does not take me from my family either.  I sit and indulge in quality pinning with my daughter, she loves to click pretty stuff and search for cakes and cupcakes.  Even my husband will check out pins of DIY projects.  It's a family thing, but still, it is mine.

There is nothing on Pinterest to frustrate me or piss me off, I haven't yet found one pin on Pinterest that made me even think about rolling my eyes. 

I have a hard time doing much of anything for longer than maybe 15 minutes, so it doesn't take over my life, it is the perfect time slot of repinning and browsing of the pretties to remember there is stuff I like, that does not involve my children (besides my kid boards I pin to of course).

I feel like I have been REPINNED! 

Happy Pinning!

Pull up your panties and act like a big girl!

It is in my opinion that by around age 30 (give or take a few years), you should have a fairly decent sense of self.  What you love.  What you are and are not willing to tolerate from others.  What means the world to you.  What you can live without.  The kind of person you see yourself as.  The things you would like to change about yourself, or work on.  I'm not saying it should be completely figured out by this time, because I also believe that soul searching and learning about yourself is never ending.  Humans are way too complex for there to be nothing left to learn about yourself.  I personally have learned a ton about myself in just the past 2 years.  In  life you are also confronted by random things that change you or make you think about how you are going to deal with them. 

Earlier in life, I was suffering from being a people pleaser.  I say suffering because I hated that about myself.  Being too "nice" all the time.  I had to recognize this and make a conscious effort to change this.  I am still a "nice" person, that's who I am.  The difference is, I no longer care if someone thinks I'm a bitch just because I didn't do what they want or I stand up for something I feel strongly about.  I have way bigger fish to fry.  It was a part of growing up.  Especially when I had children.  I do not want to set this example to my children.  I want them to stand up for what they feel strongly about, regardless of what their friends might say or think.  They might catch some heat for it, but sooner or later, they will be respected for it.  I still have work to do, but for the most part, I have changed this about myself.  I want to eliminate the after feeling of "I should have said...." I hate that feeling.

So if you are a grown woman, and especially a mother, for the love of whatever you love....grow up!  If you volunteer to do something, don't complain about it!  YOU offered to do it!  If you do not want to do something, DON'T DO IT!  If you disagree on a topic of discussion, say so, it is okay!  At this age, most people do not want to be pleased, they simply want to surround themselves with real people.  How can you really get to know someone when they only say what they think you want them to say? It is a waste of time and I am done wasting time.  I have learned that there are few people you can really trust, just with simple things even.  If you complain or talk negatively about other people, more than you have meaningful conversation, get a life.

I cherish the women in my life that are strong and real.  I wish there were more of them.  One thing is for sure, I will do everything in my power to raise a strong, independent, full of character, female.  I will teach her as best as I can to learn about the person she is and the person she wants to be.  I will teach her to love life passionately, to surround herself with real people to share life with.  I want her to ooze confidence and stand up for what she believes in, even if it doesn't please everyone around her. I ant her to enjoy time alone and love time with loved ones.  I will then cross my fingers and watch her grow!

Raise our girls to be wonderful women. Not catty, complaining, whiners.  They will be the women of the world sooner than you realize.

Important Information

Chubby babies, look really cute in tight fitting jammies.

LML

Around 5 years ago, it was just me and my 2 year old boy in my apartment. It was quiet and tidy. A little boring at night when Logan went to bed, I usually just watched Oprah and went to bed.
I started dating Louie, a bit later we moved in together. A few months after that, it was his and mine...3 kids! one to three is quite a jump! It was loud, exhausting, and exciting.
We then vowed to spend our lives together. Then we became, his, mine, and ours....we had a little girl. Now it was a little louder, slightly more exhausting, and very exciting. Tidy is hard to hold on to at this point.
We went through huge changes together. I lost a parent, we bought a home in a new town, we both quit smoking (AWESOME!) I started staying home with the kids, we made it through a horrible car accident, and your general struggles.
Then we added a baby boy....his, mine, ours and another one of ours.
It is now difficult to have any quiet at all, I'm pretty much exhausted all the time, and every day is exciting. I struggle for tidy, but it is kind of a pipe dream, I don't mind chasing it though.
This has been quite the wild, high speed ride. I love it, I don't ever want to get off. I am exactly where I want to be, with exactly the people I want to be with. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Our lives are filled with joy, stress, love, tears, smiles, laughs, worry, frustrations, kisses, "I love you's", hugs, hand holding (big and small hands), learning, caring, talking, singing, dancing, sharing, yelling, cuddling, and some more love. It's just how it's supposed to be.
This is how I am going into a new year, with all the above, real feelings for a real life. Surrounding myself with REAL people....friends and family...you know who you are.
This is my way of saying "LML".......(because I can't stand those three letters for some reason, makes me want to vomit).
But...I love it all, the good, the bad, the something to brag about, the something to work on....and the something to cry about.....all of it. I live my life for the 7 hearts beating under our roof.
It's real and it kicks ASS.

Dear laundry, let's make ammends

I think this love hate relationship began when we moved to a two story house.  The washer and dryer are downstairs, all the bedrooms are upstairs.  I don't know if that actually has anything to do with it, but it sounds like a great excuse.

I always have great intentions on keeping the laundry up.  I come up with different procedures for laundry.  I even got each kid their own different colored laundry bag in hopes this would help.

Keep in mind, there is a lot of laundry in this place.  We have two adults and 5 kids.  Now, 2 of the kids are not here every day, but one of them seems to dirty lots of clothes somehow.  I think what actually happens is he lets clothes fall on the floor, then becoming "dirty" in the dirty pile of clothes.  The three year old diva likes to change clothes in the middle of the day, as many times as she can before getting in trouble.  The baby is a baby, so he goes through many clothes in a day.  Now add baby blankets, towels, and the fact there is a bed wetter in the house to the laundry pile.  Twin sheets and comforters take up a lot of room in the washing machine. 

I will spend three whole days (sometimes with a days break in between) catching up the laundry.  I don't mind loading the washer and dryer and I always fold it immediately upon pulling it out of the dryer.  I empty the dryer piece by piece and fold it right there.  I then separate them all in to piles, adult pile, Beebs pile, Logan's pile, baby's pile, Austin's pile, and Kristian's pile.  This takes up the entire couch.  I then move these piles into their color coordinated bags and set them a side.  Ours go into hampers ready to put them away.  They sit, and they sit, and they get items pulled out of them when needed.  Every day I walk downstairs and try to ignore the fact that they are there.  By the time I get around to putting them away, I have a huge pile of laundry to do again.  Another great excuse I thought I would share with you is that my dogs absolutely LOVE to sleep on a pile of dirty clothes, it makes them happy, you can see their soul smiling. I know, I know. 

I yell at the kids when they come downstairs with a new clean outfit on and we have no plans to go anywhere.  "Now why would you go dirty those clothes for me when we will be home all day?" I know, I totally take it personal, but the laundry and I have a very personal relationship.

I have come to the fact, for the new year, that I need to catch it all up, put it away the moment it is done, and do at least a load every day.  I know this is the right thing to do, but at the same time, I want to rebel, it's in my nature.  I will not have anyone controlling me, especially dirty clothes and it's process.  Are you kidding me? 

So this year, the laundry process and I will shake hands and start working together in a professional manner.  I am not going to roll my eyes at it anymore and make rude sounds to accompany the eye roll.  The laundry is not going to follow me with its eyes as I walk through the room.  We will pretend to be friends.

I'm going to make my own laundry detergent as soon as what I have is used, this might make it more exciting (yeah, for like the first 3 loads).

The real deal here is putting the clothes away.  Why do I hate it?  I don't mind putting the kid's clothes away, but our clothes, I just never feel like doing that. Sometimes, I take it all upstairs with good intentions.  I separate mine and Louie's stuff all across our Cal King bed.  It's all organized in categories and ready to put away.  Then something happens like the baby wakes up, or Dominique is screaming about something, or someone is at the door, or I have to go to the bathroom, or I decide to make another cup of coffee.  If I go downstairs I am ruined.  I forget about what is going on on that Cal King.  Then it gets late, Louie and go upstairs to go to bed.  The bed is covered in clothes, in a very organized fashion mind you, but still!  So, I nicely set them all back into the hampers and crawl into bed.  You can see how this process repeats itself so easily.  And my other gripe of an excuse.  Is my room and entire upstairs is not baby proof.  So I can't really be doing all this putting away stuff while Andrew is awake.  He is too big for his chair, so he ends up tipping it over and just screams at me the whole time anyway.  He has to be napping, so that needs to be added to my new technique...putting laundry away at nap time. 

Thanks for listening, and please, please wish me laundry luck for the new year...this really puts a damper on my life.  I hate piles and I hate hampers full of clean laundry.



So, my coffee is ready for me in the coffee pot, I will enjoy that cup and I will then put a load in the wash.  I will then give it a little wink, just to be sassy.

Roll of the Eye

The last part of 2011 I have been working on a stress decreaser.  It is eye rolling. 

I am pretty much a veteren at rolling my eyes.  I assume I've been doing it since I was in the womb.  I have many family members who roll their eyes several times a day, so it comes with my genes.

Instead of getting really frustrated with people, or letting others offend me, I'm just going to work on rolling my eyes.  I think I am comfortable with myself enough to where I don't really care if they see me do it anymore.  It is my right to roll my eyes, correct?  If they don't like it, they are more than welcome to roll their eyes in return, I have no problem with this.  It's much friendlier than flipping the bird.

There are great sounds that you can make to assist your eye roll.  Like "tssss" or "psshh".  There are some good assisting words as well, "Gawd", "stuuupid", or just a good old sigh.  Go ahead, try it out loud, I think you will enjoy it and find what suits you best.

My children also roll their eyes.  Never in a disrespecting way (a true eye roller knows how to do this, I'm so proud of them). 

Eye rolling can be done in private as well, as you walk away.  This is great for when it might be inappropriate to be upfront about it. 

There is also those times when you look across the room to a fellow eye roller when someone else says something rediculous.  You sometimes get the need to share in eye rolling together about something.  The need to share is so strong, that you forget there are other people in the room watching you...this falls under inappropriate eye rolling, try to keep a handle on this.  Now a days you can most likely text your friend, then just smile at her when she reads it.

My husband is more of a "lips pressed tight" sort of guy.  He has gotten caught up in my eye rolling a few times and tried it on for size, but he mainly sticks to pinching his lips real tight, it makes him look pretty pissed.  It works for him.

I do wonder though, if this is why I get headaches so frequently, maybe a strain of the eye. 

Thanks for sharing in my eye rolling thoughts.  Have a great night!